It might be good to go by yourself and try some on to get a feel for what you like on your finger and then consider returning the ring if you feel like you’d like something completely different

First of all congratulations!

Hi I think that if you are within the return window, you should have a chat with your fiance (yay). You did a really smart thing asking him why he picked it and it doesn’t seem that he has any like reaaaallly sentimental attachment to it. He did his best and picked a ring that he liked but it’d not like that he spent months designing it. Which in turn I think gives you space to have a gentle conversation with him that you love it but since it’s something you plan to wear for the rest of your life, you want it to be fully special for both of you and you’d like to consider some other options.

Having said that, I think your ring is lovely and it looks great. As a fellow emerald cut girlie it’s by far my favorite cut. But also totally understand that you are not 1000% in love and that’s what matters

I know this may be an unpopular opinion but I picked my engagement ring out. If I had to wear it for my entire life my husband wanted me to have a say in it! If you’re unhappy you have to speak up as hard as it could be because you wanna look down at your hand and be HAPPY and not disappointed. Congratulations!!

I would return it. You should have something you love since you’re going to be the one wearing it. I’m sure he will understand and your not being materialistic. I returned my first engagement ring and got something I love. I was on the fence about the 1st ring but he said I could return it if I didn’t like it. I tried but it just wasn’t working for me. Don’t feel bad! He loves you and wants you to be happy.

As someone who is super sentimental about everything, I really, really feel your dilemma. You’re caught between kinda not liking the ring physically, and loving what it represents and that it was the one he picked and proposed with.

Here’s what I think: Personally I don’t like the ring either. It’s a very dated design, isn’t that great structurally with that many side stones, and just kinda looks like what it is, a relatively cheap option from a big company that plenty of people have had issues with.

I think it’s actually a good thing that he didn’t put a heap of effort into choosing it, because then it’d be more sad that you don’t love it.

It doesn’t sound like he didn’t put in any thought because he doesn’t care, but that he was just overwhelmed because like most guys he just doesn’t know anything about jewellery (and there’s a lot to know).

He sounds like a really sweet and understanding guy, and I reckon you should gently bring it up to him and explain how you feel.

Explain how you absolutely love everything about the proposal, but as someone who *isn’t* overwhelmed by the thought of choosing a ring, and would in fact love that process, you’d really like to go on the journey with him of picking something that you’ll love. It’ll be a whole adventure for you two. God knows you’re going to be wearing the ring a lot, you need to love it.

He’ll totally get this, and you’ll immediately fall in love with the new “adventure” ring.

That’s my take, anyway. Good luck!

Omg did I write this ? Going through the same thing too. Tho I would love a ring like yours because mine is tiny. i told my fiance and he got upset :/

I don’t think you should feel bad for wanting to pick out a ring that makes you feel giddy when you look down at it. The sinking feeling isn’t going to go away. Another reason I don’t think you should feel bad is because your fiance admitted he went the easy route and just grabbed something online, zero thought was put into it, he just needed the prop for the event (proposal), so he can’t act sad if you tell him you want something more your style.

I picked my ring I hated the one he got. I am the one wearing so we went and changed it. Same price nicer ring. Urgh my hands look so old. Weird how we get old but still think the same as we did younger 😂😂

https://preview.redd.it/98046g4u29yf1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6275990ab6c804b5f6b7acb8a2540d228582dac9

I would talk to him about it! I think he’d understand if you said it in a very nice way that recognizes his efforts. “hey I love you and want to marry you and appreciate the effort you went through but I don’t think I love the engagement ring as something I want to wear every single day for the rest of my life. I’d like to look for something else that feels more me in our price range and return this one since we are still in the return window. I didn’t want to come to this conclusion too late. I hope you can understand, and again, I so appreciate you trying to go to stores and looking online to find something you thought was pretty and a good value. It does not go unnoticed.”

Expecting a straight male to have good taste in women’s jewelry is too much lol. I gave my bf specific instructions on what I wanted, went ring shopping, and even did research on where he should go to buy. The proposal is up to him. But I’m not messing around with something I’m stuck wearing for the rest of my life.

Be kind but direct and say you love him and the proposal but the ring doesn’t fit your personal style and go ring shopping with him.

So I felt that way with my ring. My stomach sunk and I almost wanted to cry.

Except it’s exactly what I’d asked for, what I thought I wanted… and even THEN I didn’t like it.

We couldn’t return it, but we sold it to a jewelry store for melt value to get money to buy a new one. My wife understood how important it was for me to have something on my finger I genuinely loved.

Is your fiancee military? He sounds so much like my fiancee: the discussion of proposal comes up, and he plans it at the very next opportunity with the most convenient ring. 🙄 Boys. Thankfully my proposal ring was always going to be temporary.

Hoping you find something you love! I wouldn’t overestimate the attachment your fiancee has to the ring he proposed with, especially since he didn’t pick it with much intention other than he liked the way it looks.

Please get the ring and design you like. IMO, if you don’t like it the feeling doesn’t wear off. Do not grow to love something just to keep the peace. It’s even a bonus that you’re in the return window.

I think your ring is beautiful. I think if you’re emotionally attached to it then you need to make some peace with the other things you have doubts about. For me, emotion and meaning is more important than the look, and that should create a deeper love for the ring you have, than any other ring you could choose. 

I’m sorry but the amount of obsessing you do over this ring and how to change it/enhance it to suit you and how much you want someone to tell you it’s ok to speak up and go and change it… it tells me it’s time to get brave and speak to your fiancée about returning it and then going ring shopping together. And here it is… IT’S OK AND YOU WILL BE FINE AND YOUR FIANCÉE WILL BE FINE TOO. Go and do what will make you happy. Congratulations on your engagement 🥳

Congratulations! I was with my husband for years before our engagement as well and I know how special it felt after all those years to get the proposal even though we’d discussed marriage and children.

My husband asked me about jewelry all along recording me and ordered my ring based on what I’d said. When I asked him (the most sentimental man I’ve known) how he felt about my ring and he was shockingly ambivalent. The man who has his grandparents wedding rings in commemorative box in our safe was like meh. Lol

I was curious about it after reading a post like this. I said if I told you it wasn’t my style what would you do? He was enthusiastic about me having a ring I loved and not caring if I had wanted a different style.

I guess what I’m saying is that you can carefully broach the topic to feel out if it would hurt his feelings or if he would be chill about it. I think it’s better to say something now and use the store credit for wedding rings. I agree Kay is not the company I’d want an engagement ring from, but gold bands NBD. Men don’t generally understand that a brand name they hear about in commercials might not be ideal in the jewelry room.

We got engaged years ago now, but my engagement ring style is now very trendy. It wasn’t when we got engaged. So despite your intentions, you may end up with something that becomes trendy. I wouldn’t let that dictate your choice. ✨✨✨

I would speak up. He didn’t say that when he saw the ring it would be perfect for you. He said it was pretty, a great value, and easy to find online. Married 21+ years here and you will have many more difficult conversations to face later in married life. My husband could afford about a 1.5 carat diamond and thought I would prefer a gold band solitare. He took me to 2 jewelry stores as he had visited many and decided he liked the quality and service at these stores 23 years ago about 6 months into our relationship. We were going watch shopping for him and he casually asked what type of rings girls liked at the time as his friend was about to buy an engagement ring for his girlfriend. I ended liking a smaller stone with a real blingy platinum setting still on his budget. He bought it and proposed 3 months later.