“I Love My Engagement Ring, But I Think It’s Backwards…”
Engagement rings are often regarded as symbols of love and commitment, but what happens when that symbol feels a little… off? Recently, I found myself in a quirky dilemma with my engagement ring. I adore it—its sparkling diamonds, the unique setting, and the special sentiment it carries. However, I can’t shake the feeling that it’s a bit backwards.
The Quirky Nature of My Ring
First off, let’s talk about the design. My ring features a stunning cushion-cut diamond center stone, surrounded by delicate pave diamonds that almost seem like they’re dancing around their star. However, in my case, the diamond sits high, almost like it’s waving “hello” to everyone—most notably, my fellow ring admirers. But here’s the twist: the centerpiece is set backward. It faces more outward than in, making it feel a bit unbalanced in a way.
Am I Alone in This?
This made me wonder: how many others out there feel a similar way about their rings? I’d love to hear your stories! Have you ever had a ring that just didn’t feel quite right, even if you loved it? Maybe the setting was too high or the shape of the band didn’t sit comfortably? Or perhaps there’s another quirk that took you by surprise? This is a community where we can explore not just the beauty of our rings but also those unexpected aspects.
Understanding Designs: Backward Isn’t Necessarily Bad!
While I grapple with whether or not to adjust my ring, I’ve also gained an appreciation for unique designs. Maybe there’s something beautiful in imperfection or unconventionality. A backwards setting might not be traditional, but it’s certainly memorable! Plus, there are countless styles and configurations. Some rings are designed to be worn in specific ways to enhance their beauty, like vintage styles or rings that incorporate colored stones.
Gem Insights and Inspirations
If anyone’s had experience with different stone cuts or settings—I’d love to learn! Did you know that certain cuts make a stone appear larger or smaller? Or that different diamond shapes can dramatically impact the overall aesthetic? Let’s dive into the world of gems and settings together! Share your knowledge, experiences, or even photos of your rings—backwards or not!
Share Your Stories!
I want to open up the floor to everyone in this vibrant community:
- What stories do you have about your engagement rings?
- What do you love about them, even if they’re not perfect?
- Have you ever decided to alter a piece because it wasn’t feeling right?
Post your comments and photos below! Let’s celebrate the uniqueness of our love stories, the quirks of our rings, and maybe brainstorm ideas for those of us contemplating a backward ring redesign! Who knows, there may even be a secret trick or two shared in the comments that helps us embrace our unique, beautiful bling. 💍✨
Can’t wait to hear from you all!
Do you have a pic of your inspo – I don’t understand what you mean. From what I can see, the shanks of the ring on either side are roughly at the same spot before one curves upward and one curves downward. So I’m not clear on how reversing it would make any difference. To me it seems that the problem is the knife edge of the ring.
I may be an idiot- but can’t you just take the ring off, flip it over, and put it on upside down? Then the bottom support will go toward the pinky?
https://preview.redd.it/avveuqltih2g1.jpeg?width=951&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ddc938581635c4e320176c6936525d73056c2d1b
Inspo pic! Sorry I didn’t post it originally.
https://preview.redd.it/5ps2xwvljh2g1.jpeg?width=487&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6c3a3b70f878477f2380067d22e796413f01b278
I think this is what OP means in wanting it reversed? For the bottom ring attachment to come from the left rather than the right, and vice versa on the top. I do see how that could rub lower on your pinky and potentially be more comfortable.
I think it’s beautiful! Is there a symbolic significance to the direction of the bypasses that you were hoping for? If not, I think the ring is beautiful as is and I wouldn’t notice a difference if the directions were reversed and reflective of what was in the inspo.
I prefer it the way it sits on your ring finger with the gold the directions they are and not opposite. Can’t you just flip it around on your finger?
Can you confirm with your fiance whether the CAD he approved was reversed? I saw you posted a CAD a couple of months ago that seems to have the correct orientation. If the jeweler messed it up, I think it’d be worth correcting.
I will say, though, although my ring isn’t a bypass ring, the band sits near the pinky knuckle in a similar way yours does and properly sized I don’t notice an issue at all. You can also see if you can get it contoured a bit differently for comfort but I’d assume that eventually it will become more comfortable anyway.
And looking at the other side, I don’t know that it being in the correct orientation would make the pinky side sit much lower so I don’t even know if it would help all that much.
Ooh I totally understand what you mean. I don’t have this style of ring, so I’m not sure about if it will feel better/if you’ll get used to it, but when it comes back resized if it doesn’t feel good, I think it’s worth bringing up. Even if your partner approved the CAD, there’s no harm in saying something if it’s uncomfortable. If you plan to get a wedding band as well it may be extra important. All that said, WOW! What a stunning unique ring that really suits your hand nicely. Love the color of the stone too 😊 Congratulations!
Did you send the photograph to the jeweler? Isn’t the jeweler responsible for fulfilling the order as it was pictured?
The band placement itself will not change where it hits on your fingers, even if the semi bezels are reversed.
You could try wearing it on your right ring finger to see if it would be any different in rubbing against the bone. That’ll give you a good idea how it would sit reversed on your left ring finger.
I will say, I do like the balance of the way it looks now.
I got what you meant. I don’t think the change will make much of a difference because from looking at the photos the bypassing is mostly happening on top of your finger, once the band is passed the side of your finger. I think the issue is that the band height is a lot more than a typical ring so it can curve up around to your large stone.
i have really bony fingers and personally i couldn’t stand something like this if it lined up exactly like yours, especially when moving fingers around and knocking/rubbing against it and whenever i’d need to grip something more firmly. when my hands get really cold too my joints hurt and i can’t imagine this wouldn’t contribute. i don’t really wear the small rings that are meant to sit higher up above the joint because they’ve never been really comfortable to move my fingers against – not painful but i also never kept them on for long.
it might be way more comfortable for you as your hands are nowhere near as bony as mine, but remember our hands and joints will change with age (and temperatures). make sure first and ask to see the drafts that got approved if the jeweler did reverse it or not. i know cost is a concern since it sounds like it potentially might’ve not been caught early on, but if so and if it feels okay now you can “upgrade”/fix it in the future if it does become an issue and you’re willing to wait. (i think also visually it’d balance better with the space between our fingers since the pinky space is lower, but that’s way less of an issue compared to comfort) however if the concern is inevitably going to prevent you from fully enjoying your ring by worrying when it will be an issue, ultimately i’d get it fixed.
I have a bypass ring that goes the opposite direction. The one I originally tried on at the jewelers went your way, but the jeweler specifically told us they were changing the direction for it to be the right way for the left hand for me!
I think it looks great— Now as a ring designer I’m going to offer you a practical POV here. The top edge of the stone by your pinky is going to come into the most contact with stuff. People rarely bump their hand in front of their body—we’re more aware of the space directly in front of us—but you’re less likely to be aware of things off to your side. Now swing your left arm around in front of you: look at which edge of the stone is most likely to come into contact with the end of a table, a doorframe the stairs when you trip up the stairs (hi, that’s me, I fall up the stairs a lot). So this is exactly the location you want your ring to have more of a buffer, not less. This is simply better design for daily wear.
More in the design vein— idk what country you’re in or from.m, but if it’s western, since we read left-to right we tend to like the look of design flow in that direction as well. This ring “swirls” left to right and so just looks more fluid to my eye. It would feel jarring or unfinished in the other direction.
So you’re overthinking it, but also if you overthink it in the way *I* just did…it’s better.
Literally gasped when I saw it in the light, what a unique and pretty stone.
Does it actually hurt you? Usually you get used to the feel of a ring over time. Small adjustments (such as rounding the edges of the band) can also make a big difference for little cost.
Also some people wear wedding rings on their middle fingers – you could keep doing that if it feels better.
I love how original your ring is, it’s very beautiful, with that being said if you’re not happy with it then definitely speak up. I saw that one commenter told you to try it on your right ring finger to get an idea of how it would feel if designed correctly and you said it felt much better- you are going to be wearing this for the rest of your life, it has to be comfortable!!
***NOW MOST IMPORTANTLY: I just checked your CAD post from a few months back and your CAD picture is the opposite, it is the way you want it to be so… drum roll please… the jeweler did indeed make it wrong and they now have to fix it, best of all you have proof that they did make it wrong because of that CAD, so run don’t walk lol, to that jeweler and show them the CAD as proof of the mistake and have them fix it, at no cost to you.***
I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this 🙁 but once they fix it you’ll be so so so happy that you spoke up, I think so anyways, and be able to truly enjoy wearing it with pride and comfort! I literally don’t even notice my ring is on my finger, it feels like it’s always been there, granted I’ve wore it for over 10 years now and only taken it off for 2 surgeries, but it’s like it’s a part of me, it’s very comfortable, and that’s how I truly hope you will feel about yours!! Congrats to you and your fiancé and good luck with your ring!!
I agree with those saying that I don’t think the direction will affect anything since it is in the same place (middle) on both sides by the time it gets to the side anyway. I was wondering if you’ve tried it further down your finger though if possible? Then it might manage to just miss your pinky joint. Or maybe they can flatten the band a bit around the edge to be more comfortable otherwise?
Side note… what is your stone???? Can we see more photos of it
I would definitely say the feel will change once its adjusted to your ring size. Mine sure did. If you want to see the original cad but dont want to come off as not liking it you can just ask for it by saying you want to keep it for memory purposes, to show the work that went into the ring He got you witch can be true. I think the ring looks lovely in both configurations. However at the end of the day you are wearing the ring everyday and you should be able to wear it how you feel the most comfortable.
I just looked at my rings and both my wedding band and engagement ring band hit the boney part of my pinkie (they’re both quite narrow). Tbh, it has never bothered me, it’s not something I thought about until you posted and I looked at my own hand 😆 i think if you decide to keep it as is, and it’s resized, you probably won’t notice it once you’re used to it being on your finger.
I’ve tried on a few rings like this, and I think the problem is the knife edge of the band. I didn’t like how the metal pushed into my skin and didn’t allow my fingers to sit more flush together. If it’ll be cheaper, maybe consider getting the band rounded instead of redoing the whole thing altogether. The larger size of your center stone may also be why the bypass as it starts curving comes up higher on your fingers. It’s probably more noticeable because of the shape / knife edge of your band.
It looks like it’s not backwards, but upside down maybe?
your ring is beautiful! Can I ask who your jeweller was? This is almost exactly the style I’m looking at for my partner
Yeah, I can’t explain it, but when I first saw it, I wanted to flip which side of the band connected on top
It’s not only where the ring sits in relation to your knuckle, the webbing between your pinky and ring finger sits lower than between your ring and middle finger. The direction of yours means that the lower part of the band will push against the webbing on the middle finger side. Anatomically it makes more sense the other way around.
Am I dumb…? Couldn’t the ring just be turned 180 and put back on the finger for the bezel to face the other way? Or am I being spatially challenged?
Edit: I am indeed dumb. It took me switching back amd forth between the inspo photo upside and the actual ring to finally get it.
Some comments have suggested it doesnt matter due to the shank being level on each side- they aren’t wrong in that
The band is even all the way around. HOWEVER- as someone with major sensory issues, I can see how the swoop going upward instead of snugging closer into the base of
the finger could be highly irritating.
Personally I’d want it closer to the bottom on the pinkie side.
I hope that your cad reflects the inspo pic so you have the opportunity to make your own choice!
Either way, your ring is lovely
I *cannot* find an edit option on my original post, so adding an update in the comments:
I’m going to get the ring resized and wear that for a little bit before determining anything else. The resize alone seems like it’ll add a lot of comfort. If that doesn’t work, we’ll see what the options are, but I hope it does the trick.
Thank you for all of the feedback & sorry again for the confusion and not including the inspo pic at the beginning!
I see exactly what you’re talking about and I get it! Getting it sized might help, but with the shape of the band, I think you’re still going to feel it since the band isn’t flat/rounded. Are you within the return/exchange period? Or can you talk to the jeweler about the top/bottom being opposite of what was shown for inspiration and see what the suggest?
I had a similar issue with the way a ring was rubbing recently. I had picked out an anniversary band that I absolutely loved, but because of how far the diamonds went around the band, they’d rub the inside knuckle of my pinky. I had a stressful day one day and it was “the thing” that was like sensory overload. I talked to my husband about it and he told me to exchange it for something that was more comfortable that I could enjoy without it irritating me.