I Hate the Engagement Ring I Made: Unveiling the Truth Behind Custom Designs
As someone who loves jewelry, specifically engagement rings, I never thought I’d find myself in this situation: I hate the engagement ring I designed. Yes, I took the plunge to create a custom piece (what I thought would be an amazing reflection of my style and love), but now that it’s finalized, I find myself grappling with a mix of regret and discontent.
The Build-Up: Dreaming of the Perfect Ring
When my partner proposed, I was over the moon! But instead of a traditional ring, I decided to venture into the world of bespoke jewelry. I envisioned creating something unique—something that truly captured our love story. I gathered inspiration, explored various gems, and spent hours online lost in the beauty of different cuts and settings.
The Idea was Beautiful: A radiant-cut diamond surrounded by delicate sapphires, set in a vintage-inspired band. I wanted to meld elegance with a personal touch. But here’s where things took a turn.
The Reality: When Dreams Don’t Match Execution
When I finally received the ring, my heart sank a little. What had I done? The proportions felt off, the sapphire accents overshadowed the diamond, and I realized that the specifics I so meticulously chose didn’t translate to the reality I was hoping for.
📸 (Insert picture of the ring)
Seeing it now, I can appreciate its beauty, but it doesn’t feel like my ring. The personal connection I yearned to have fizzled out, replaced by disappointment.
A Chance for Discussion: Voice Your Thoughts!
Has anyone else felt this way about their engagement ring? Was your custom piece a huge success, or did it leave you feeling conflicted?
Here are a few prompts to get the conversation going:
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Custom vs. Traditional Rings: Have you ever wondered if custom designs are truly worth it? How do your experiences compare with pre-designed rings?
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The Importance of Proportions: How did you ensure the design choices you made translated well into the final product? What tips can you share for those currently designing a ring?
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Blueprints of Love: If you could redo your engagement ring, what elements would you change? How can we channel past disappointment into future ring designs?
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Learning from Mistakes: What did your purchasing experience teach you about your own taste and preferences? Have you learned any valuable lessons regarding gems, cuts, or settings that you wish you had known beforehand?
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Celebrating Imperfections: Lastly, let’s talk about embracing the rings we have, even if they’re not perfect. How do you wear your ring with pride despite any personal grievances?
Join the Conversation!
I’m reaching out to all of you to share your stories and insights. This community is perfect for opening up about our experiences—good and bad—when it comes to engagement rings. Whether you’re excited about a future purchase or still reeling from past decisions, your opinions matter. Let’s create a space where we can learn from each other, inspire future designs, and ultimately celebrate love, no matter how imperfect its symbol may be.
💍✨ Share your stories, photos, and thoughts below!
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Sorry this isn’t helpful at all… but I think you did a great job!! Hope that untimely y’all are able to get it in the state that makes you both happy but I think it’s truely a beautiful ring.
Depends how much you want it refined – this almost looks like a raw casting or ‘shipwreck’ texture so could be brought to a more uniform shape?
I wouldn’t keep the ring if I didn’t love it. Better to reset than regret each time you look at it.
During the next process, have the jeweler make a CAD for approval first, then print you a model in wax or silver to try on. Then you can really refine as needed.
Dave from Jaime Feld Jewelers is terrific. https://jaimefeldjewelers.myshopify.com/
As a goldsmith I would say yes you can reshape it. Depends on what the final design should look like I’d go for it as you’ll never be happy with this ring if you’re not now.
Omg. I love it. It’s beautiful and so unique!
Can u send more picss, i love it.
Are they the one wearing it? Or you? As long as the person wearing it loves it, that’s what matters most! Respectfully, why does it matter if you’re not wearing it that you don’t absolutely love it? It’s not your ring!
I think it’s absolutely stunning!
As someone in a F/F relationship as well. I have to tell you that it looks amazing on her hand!! Maybe meet with a jeweler and refine the shape a bit. But overall, you did a good job!
Respectfully, you have ring blindness. This is perfection
It it’s lovely on your finger. It’s a specific modern style. A lot of girls going with that style. If you really hated I’m sure your jeweler would reset it for you for a price but it really is very pretty.
I’d wear that as a men’s ring
Listen, it’s only been a day and neither of you is used to seeing the ring on their hand. Give yourself a week or two to get used to it. This ring isn’t exactly my style, but if my girlfriend proposed to me with a ring she MADE HERSELF with her own two hands, I would be over the moon regardless of what it looked like. How special is that?!?! Anyone can buy a ring at a store, but you crafted this with love and care. The fact that your sweetie loves it is even better. Their opinion of it counts more than yours since they’ll be wearing it. But yes, it would be nice if you felt happy when you looked at it. So see how you feel after a couple weeks and go from there.
FWIW my husband proposed with a ring that wasn’t quite what I had in mind but close enough, and it meant a lot to me to have the exact ring that he chose for me with love in his heart, you know? He said I could switch it for something else and I tried on some other rings, but decided to stick with it. Now it’s been 23 years and I’m really glad I didn’t change it.
Whatever you decide, I wish you a lifetime of happiness together!! ❤️
No
WAIT
STOP
Give yourself some grace
It’s beautiful let them wear it, I think you did great 👍🏻
I love chunky rings so I’m no help here lol I think it’s beautiful and honestly having so much gold in a ring is more of a flex to me than a big diamond although the one in this ring looks pretty good size lol
“Can I sit with them and advise them on how I like it?”
I would suggest taking it to a trusted jeweller with your fiancé, and having you both sit down and design a new ring together, with the stones and gold from that ring. It’s important for you to like it, but it’s also more important for your fiancé to love it. It would be a great opportunity for you to design it together! Just remember, it’s her ring, her opinion and ring preferences matter the most.
I do think it’s beautiful and unique! I understand not everyone love the raw, chunky style though.
I love it and I need to know how you just casually made a ring, please teach us
I wish my ring was chunkier if its any consolation.
I’m obsessed with it!
The pics are pretty blurry, but from what I can tell its a nice shape but needs cleanup/polishing
Okay so when you look at this ring, I guarantee you see “there’s a mark where I did something wrong”. When your partner looks at the ring, I guarantee they see “every mark on this ring was made by the person I love with my whole heart because they love me with their whole heart”.
As a stranger with no context to the ring, I look at it and see a really cool east west stone in an artistic band. I don’t see any marks or shape that makes me go “oh someone didn’t know what they were doing”. It’s gorgeous and so meaningful. It’s okay to be a perfectionist about this ring, but you might also remember perfect is an ideal, not a reality.
She says she loves it. That’s what’s important. You shouldn’t be advising on how YOU like it but how SHE likes it. And she says she loves it. Unless you believe she’s lying and doesn’t like it either? I’d get to the real truth of the matter before you start trying to change it.
I would never tell someone to keep a ring they didn’t absolutely love, and I’m sure there’s ways to improve it!
That said, I’ve been asking my partner to make me a ring when we get engaged, and my Pinterest is full of rings that look exactly like this! This is literally my dream ring haha. How did you learn to do this? How long did it take? Did you cast it yourself or just make the wax part and send it to a caster?
If she likes it that’s all that matters but yah, I hate it. Looks amateur and bulky.
Aww.. This has me slightly swooning at the shape and stone. I love the east west look size and I am looking at texture and raw movement along the bezel. But again it might not be for everyone. I’d say.. if there’s another ring that pleases your partner more..& you let them know.. if they want it.. they’ll get it. Simple as that. It’ll make you happier knowing shes over the moon about the next idea of a ring for her finger. For now this is pretty lux. I’m digging it. Again if she hates it.. Redone. Don’t even think twice. Don’t fret. But your disliking it. Does your partner care as much as you do? If they’re content on something else ..then yes..change it around with a CAD drawing. I’m sorry your not in love with it. But does your wife to be..like it.. ? Again if she hates it.. and you dislike it, then definitely..go with something you will love to wear and have her wear as well.
I’d say go big.. or go home! You went big for sure, I for one am liking this stones size for certain on the finger..But you can always have it redone.. I would consider bringing it back to the bench jeweler and request them to finish it up to a smooth surface..vs.. textured (the image isn’t very clear up close to the bezel setting so I can’t really tell) I would consider re-setting this in a nice thick cathedral setting. Something along the lines of??? [https://www.vrai.com/engagement-ring/statement-signet-ring/oval-white-gold-43585007911005/F9003432?utm_source=google&utm_medium=shopping&utm_campaign=G_Shopping_US_Brand&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22204414499&gbraid=0AAAAADnPlJuQKDhKRLVynCxlTtxQQXVvK&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3OjGBhDYARIsADd-uX5Rb4cdzcRYQ3i3Iq3gRCnmSteVCfhGJCCWAyJRS08m8FuIcPf4zvMaAm3rEALw_wcB](https://www.vrai.com/engagement-ring/statement-signet-ring/oval-white-gold-43585007911005/F9003432?utm_source=google&utm_medium=shopping&utm_campaign=G_Shopping_US_Brand&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22204414499&gbraid=0AAAAADnPlJuQKDhKRLVynCxlTtxQQXVvK&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3OjGBhDYARIsADd-uX5Rb4cdzcRYQ3i3Iq3gRCnmSteVCfhGJCCWAyJRS08m8FuIcPf4zvMaAm3rEALw_wcB)
https://preview.redd.it/h8sddafl94sf1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=99776c155f42e4f80c235cac7d1ed1e5a2623e79
No, it’s genuinely gorgeous imo! No offense, but it doesn’t really matter if you like it or not- it’s your partner who’ll be wearing it!
Is this a man’s ring?
Do you think you just hate it because you made it yourself and are being more critical?
Its on her finger now. It doesnt really feel up to you anymore. If she says she loves it, it should end there. Sounds like you gave her an opportunity to tell you if she didnt like it and she told you the opposite. In which case the ball is no longer in your court.
Have you had a conversation with your partner about this? Do they agree with any of your assessment of the ring? If they genuinely love it as it is, don’t change it. They’re the one wearing it, and if *they* love it then you did do a good job even if you don’t feel like you did because the point was to make something they would love.
I’d approach the conversation like – “I wanted to let you know that while it might be self-criticism, I feel like there are things about the ring I didn’t do right. I’m open to getting it altered if there’s anything you would like more if done differently. I just want you to be happy with what you’re wearing.” But be open to the possibility they may prefer it as it is. Rings should reflect the wearer’s style.
Edit: I may have misread part of your post. Do you mean to say your partner would also like the ring better if you liked it better? Is there any particular thing they’re open to changing that wouldn’t diminish their love for it?.
I mean either way, give it a little bit of time, too 😊 and congratulations!
Your ring has to be beautiful to YOU. Get it redone and never look back.
Get out of your own way. You’ve made it known that if she wants to reshape the ring, you won’t get your feelings hurt.
I, 40’s F proposed to my wife (also 40’s) about 14 years ago. I had the ring made from gemstones and gold that I had inherited. I went to dozens of jewelry stores and picked features of different rings I liked and paid a jeweler to combine them into one ring. By the time I got the ring back, I was so nervous that I convinced myself that I hated the ring. My entire proposal was an apology. I felt like I had used too many diamonds. My wife felt differently. “You’re not taking back my diamonds!” Was the answer to my proposal. I didn’t even give her the opportunity to say yes because I was in my own way.
All these years later she loves her ring and still doesn’t want to change it.
Something to consider: she may be forced to change a ring that she considers perfect just bc of your doubts. If I got my dream ring and my husband hated it, I would change it so he liked too. I wouldn’t change it to something I hated, but I would make revisions until it was a ring we both loved. At that point, I’d love the ring bc he did, but my dream ring would be gone.
Talk to a jeweler that does custom settings or even premmade settings. They can take the gold and use it as credit towards the new band.
I think it’s really cool. It reminds me of DAWN’s engagement ring. Your’s has a beautiful story attached
I think it’s really cool. It reminds me of DAWN’s engagement ring. Your’s has a beautiful story attached
Please let your partner make the decision. Don’t make them change the ring they are wearing if they don’t want to!
What is it that you don’t like about it?