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Asked: October 9, 20252025-10-09T21:10:27+00:00 2025-10-09T21:10:27+00:00In: EngagementRings

Is the bow tie undesirable? Let’s be truthful.

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Is the Bow Tie Bad? Let’s Discuss!

When it comes to engagement rings, the focus tends to be on cuts, settings, gemstones, and shimmering brilliance. But today, let’s shake things up a bit in the world of jewelry discussions: is the bow tie effect inherently bad?

Before you roll your eyes and think, “Not this conversation again,” let’s take a moment to dive deeper into what the bow tie effect really means for all of us engaged in buying or admiring these stunning pieces.

What is the Bow Tie Effect?

For those unfamiliar, the bow tie effect refers to the shadowy area sometimes observed in certain diamond cuts, particularly in fancy shapes like ovals, pears, and marquises. When light passes through the stone, the reflected rays can result in a darkened area in the shape of a bow tie. This phenomenon doesn’t necessarily render a diamond “bad,” but it does raise the question: does it impact the overall aesthetic of the ring?

Pros of the Bow Tie Effect

  1. Unique Character: Some argue that the bow tie effect gives the diamond a unique character, enhancing its individuality. After all, personal style and preference play a huge role in choosing the perfect ring. Not everyone wants a cookie-cutter diamond!

  2. Price: Diamonds that exhibit the bow tie effect can be less expensive than stones with a perfect light return. For budget-conscious buyers, this can be a hidden gem (pun intended)!

  3. Artistic Flair: In certain settings, the bow tie can even contribute to an artistic or vintage vibe. This can work beautifully for some couples looking for something distinctive.

Cons of the Bow Tie Effect

  1. Light Performance: The most prominent argument against the bow tie effect is its potential to hinder the light performance of the diamond. For many, especially those who prioritize sparkle and brilliance, a bow tie can signify a flaw that dampens the stone’s overall appeal.

  2. Personal Preference: Some may find the bow tie distracting or unappealing. Beauty is genuinely in the eye of the beholder, and personal taste is paramount when selecting a ring.

  3. Resale Value: If you’re considering resale in the future, the bow tie effect can complicate matters. Diamonds lacking this phenomenon might appeal to a broader market.

Let’s Hear from You!

Here in our engagement ring community, we’re all about open discussions and sharing insights. So, what’s the verdict?

  • Bow Tie Lovers: Do you own a diamond that showcases the bow tie effect? If so, how does it make you feel? Do you enjoy the uniqueness it offers?

  • Bow Tie Skeptics: For those who steer clear of gems with the bow tie effect, what factors guide your decision? Is it all about brilliance for you, or do aesthetics sway your choice too?

  • Future Buyers: If you’re in the market for engagement rings, what’s your stance? Are you willing to embrace the bow tie effect if the price is right, or does it turn you off completely?

Join in the conversation below! Remember, this space is all about encouraging knowledge and sharing experiences. We can learn so much from each other’s perspectives, whether you’re showcasing a magnificent engagement ring with a bow tie or one that shines without it. Let’s get talking! 💍✨

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  1. Cautious_Ice_884
    Cautious_Ice_884
    2025-10-09T21:15:50+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 9:15 pm

    Honestly, this would bother the hell out of me. It looks really inconsistently cut, theres something off about it.

    The diamonds on the side are fine, saying they look like a penis is a stretch.

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  2. Jillet-Ben_Coe
    Jillet-Ben_Coe
    2025-10-09T21:22:56+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 9:22 pm

    You gotta take a photo looking straight down from the top with good lighting. That’s how diamonds are graded.

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  3. Eellee44
    Eellee44
    2025-10-09T21:23:03+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 9:23 pm

    So in the last photo I do see the phallic reference but it’s not there for me when you just look at the ring, it’s actually really pretty. The cut of the diamond I think is what’s throwing you off. That bow tie for me personally is a bit much.

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  4. tafunast
    tafunast
    2025-10-09T21:39:09+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 9:39 pm

    The setting doesn’t look phallic to me but I personally would be disappointed with this center stone. But I went with a round because, among other reasons, I wouldn’t have to deal with a bow tie at all.

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  5. MargotSoda
    MargotSoda
    2025-10-09T21:46:44+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 9:46 pm

    Yes.

    Also on the grey scale maybe?

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  6. 20pillowmiddaynap
    20pillowmiddaynap
    2025-10-09T21:58:01+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 9:58 pm

    The stone may need to be changed based on your concerns but the side stones didn’t seem phallic until I read your caption. No one will be staring at it like you will be so I wouldn’t worry about that. Now if you can’t stand it, then change it!

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  7. SacredSchflerra25
    SacredSchflerra25
    2025-10-09T22:05:59+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 10:05 pm

    I would LOVE the hell out of a ring if it had a secret penis. Lmao. That being said, this looks like a lovey ring. I wouldn’t have thought anything phallic! The stones and setting are lovely imo.

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  8. Realistic_Season9973
    Realistic_Season9973
    2025-10-09T22:16:38+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 10:16 pm

    If the ring or stone is still within the return window, I would go with another stone. Otherwise, it’s a beautiful ring. Good luck.

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  9. flawedtoperfection-
    flawedtoperfection-
    2025-10-09T22:26:20+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 10:26 pm

    I did not see the phalic stones until you mentioned it but if it’s not you then you should get what you want….

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  10. MinDoxie467
    MinDoxie467
    2025-10-09T22:54:56+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 10:54 pm

    I’m a mature lady, the ring is stunning & very nice of yr fiancé to propose with a ring. Until I read others comments about a phalic symbol. I personally couldn’t see it till I did a triple take (no I’m not blind) LOL. However if the ring isn’t making yr “heart sing” perhaps some gentle persuasion on a slight redesign without hurting yr S/O’s feelings. Congratulations on yr engagement. Best wishes from Australia 🦘🐨🇦🇺💐

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  11. CompetitiveRock5904
    CompetitiveRock5904
    2025-10-09T22:57:24+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 10:57 pm

    Honestly I had to look for it once you mentioned it and I am still having trouble. From what I understand, diamonds reflect white light and moissanites tend to reflect the rainbows?-I could be wrong about that.

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  12. Distinct_Gift603
    Distinct_Gift603
    2025-10-09T23:00:37+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 11:00 pm

    For me it’s not the bow tie but the weird spot at the bottom of the stone. Is that just a massive inclusion?

    I think the setting is pretty

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  13. margs721
    margs721
    2025-10-09T23:17:30+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 11:17 pm

    Well now I can’t un-see it.

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  14. Lee_Glitter
    Lee_Glitter
    2025-10-09T23:18:43+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 11:18 pm

    It’s cute

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  15. Economy-Extent-8094
    Economy-Extent-8094
    2025-10-09T23:31:04+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 11:31 pm

    I think this is a gorgeous ring and we are getting very picky these days in this sub.

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  16. Order_Empty
    Order_Empty
    2025-10-09T23:46:06+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 11:46 pm

    It doesn’t look like any phallus I’ve ever seen

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  17. IcyMaintenance307
    IcyMaintenance307
    2025-10-09T23:56:40+00:00Added an answer on October 9, 2025 at 11:56 pm

    That doesn’t look like a small diamond, it should’ve come with a GIA certificate, which would tell you the quality of the diamond the color of the diamond and the flaws. And then you would know what you have. You should have those papers because you’re wearing that diamond and it may need to be insured and you have to produce that.

    That being said I think we need better pictures under better lighting. Because there’s black spots I see that I don’t think are there because they aren’t consistent.

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  18. Lcky22
    Lcky22
    2025-10-10T00:00:23+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 12:00 am

    I love it!

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  19. rlwilliams84
    rlwilliams84
    2025-10-10T00:17:10+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 12:17 am

    i wouldn’t worry – the “white circle” effect just means it’s reflecting a specific light source, not that there’s anything wrong. It’s a stunning stone.

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  20. Opinions34
    Opinions34
    2025-10-10T00:38:35+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 12:38 am

    This is my dream ring! My partner and I each have 3 children… I personally love it!!

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  21. cheryle6163
    cheryle6163
    2025-10-10T01:02:52+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 1:02 am

    I would wear this ring in a heartbeat. I think it’s beautiful.❤️❤️❤️

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  22. EventHorizann
    EventHorizann
    2025-10-10T01:05:23+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 1:05 am

    I think this is a really lovely ring!

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  23. SillyMeclosetothesea
    SillyMeclosetothesea
    2025-10-10T01:08:44+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 1:08 am

    It’s beautiful

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  24. literallyjustvibin_
    literallyjustvibin_
    2025-10-10T01:15:27+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 1:15 am

    I have always thought that setting (which is super popular!!) looked a little like a peener lol!! it’s 100% still beautiful, but I always think of that when I see that setting unfortunately. it’s a really beautiful ring, but if it’s not something you’re excited to wear forever, I recommend seeing what other options you have. 🩷 congrats on the engagement!!

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  25. Ok_Anxiety_6515
    Ok_Anxiety_6515
    2025-10-10T01:30:35+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 1:30 am

    Nadia setting from brilliant earth? I think it’s a very beautiful ring

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  26. Top-Beat-7423
    Top-Beat-7423
    2025-10-10T01:40:56+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 1:40 am

    The white circle is probs just the light hitting the table. Bowties are a feature not a flaw if the bowtie is not apparently dark from all angles then it’s fine

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  27. liltoee
    liltoee
    2025-10-10T02:09:56+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 2:09 am

    i think it’s a pretty ring. but no matter what everyone tells you, it’s pretty clear you don’t love the ring either. if you aren’t happy, communicate with your fiancé your concerns about it. try to convince him to take you back to a jeweler to pick something new out, and you can pick out what setting and stone you love.

    Side note, not that it matters, i noticed your comment said he “ordered one” and the box looks familiar, did he purchase your ring from Brilliant Earth by any chance?

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  28. Dazzling_Cell_6515
    Dazzling_Cell_6515
    2025-10-10T02:36:00+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 2:36 am

    I think it’s gorgeous! Bow tie & penis minimal

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  29. Any-Veterinarian3645
    Any-Veterinarian3645
    2025-10-10T02:39:06+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 2:39 am

    I absolutely love your ring; it’s so beautiful and original! A lot of thought and love went into picking this ring. Many congratulations!!

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  30. catiscat
    catiscat
    2025-10-10T03:27:44+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 3:27 am

    I am lost with what we are looking at that is bad

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  31. daytrippper
    daytrippper
    2025-10-10T03:42:03+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 3:42 am

    This ring is fabulous I would about faint if it were proposed with to me!

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  32. Free-Pudding-1921
    Free-Pudding-1921
    2025-10-10T03:55:19+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 3:55 am

    Huh? That ring is to die for.

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  33. Hot-Smile-4799
    Hot-Smile-4799
    2025-10-10T04:22:04+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 4:22 am

    It’s beautiful!

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  34. LannahDewuWanna
    LannahDewuWanna
    2025-10-10T04:44:37+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 4:44 am

    There’s nothing bad about this ring !!!

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  35. Elm_mlE
    Elm_mlE
    2025-10-10T04:51:21+00:00Added an answer on October 10, 2025 at 4:51 am

    If you don’t like it then ask to return it and get the one you actually want. You don’t want to resent him every time you look at it.

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