My Mom Gave Me Her Wedding Ring to Propose With | Seeking Honest Thoughts and Advice
Hey everyone!
I’m excited but also a bit anxious to share a personal journey, and I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences. Recently, my mom offered me her wedding ring to use when proposing to my partner. It’s a beautiful piece with a rich history, and I feel honored to carry on this family tradition. However, it’s got me thinking—what are the pros and cons of proposing with a family heirloom?
Emotional Weight vs. Personal Choice
On one hand, using my mom’s ring adds sentimental value. It’s got the love story of two people who faced life together, and I think it’s beautiful to pass that legacy onto the next generation. However, I worry that my partner might prefer something more personal or modern—something that symbolizes our unique relationship.
Style and Preferences
The ring itself is gorgeous, but it does carry a vintage vibe, which might not align with my partner’s preferences. I’ve been considering having it reset or modified to fit their style more closely. Have any of you done this with heirloom rings? How did it go, and what was the reception?
Sharing Thoughts and Advice
I’d love to hear how you all feel about this! Here are some questions to spark the discussion:
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Tradition vs. Personal Preference: Have any of you used a family heirloom for your engagement? How did you balance tradition with personal taste?
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Customization: Did you make any changes to the ring? How did the recipient feel about it?
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Emotional Impact: How do you think using an heirloom affects the emotional weight of the proposal?
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Family Dynamics: Did you face any pushback from family or friends regarding your decision? How did you handle it?
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Ring Show-off: Lastly, I’d love to see your engagement rings! Whether they’re heirloom pieces or brand-new, let’s celebrate the stories they tell.
I’m all ears for any advice and insights you’ve got, and I can’t wait to see your stunning rings! Thanks for creating such a supportive and informative space for us all.
💍✨ Let’s chat!
If I were you, I would propose with the ring and let your fiancé know that she can definitely pick something else or have the stones reset into a setting of her choosing but you wanted to give her this because of the sentiment. The style of this ring does feel a bit dated compared to what is out now and what has been
“ fashionable”
But without knowing your girlfriend’s taste it is hard to gauge
Maybe keep the wedding band from the set, then redesign a new setting for the engagement ring?
I personally love it but would like to be proposed to with an option to choose something together if so wish.
It’s a lovely ring. As for your questions I personally find it rather timeless and not too different in style but as you’re asking if the stone should be reset it sounds as if your mum is willing to have the ring altered or even perhaps the stones set in a completely different setting?
If I were you I’d check with your mum to see if she’d be comfortable with design changes or the stones reset. If this is the case your future wife to be can have the option to either keep as is or redesign in case she doesn’t like the current design.
As for the band, it’s something that can be decided upon later when you’ve already proposed. It’s impossible to say what the recipient prefers which is what it comes down to.
Is that all one ring, or is it a trilogy ring and 2 separate bands either side? My thoughts are that it is a chunky piece of jewellery if it’s all one ring and she may not like the design.
Would you be open to having it remade with your mums diamonds and gold into a design your fiancé likes?
I’d start with asking your mum if she would be ok if it was redesigned. Keeping the stones (and maybe the gold depending if your partner is a yellow gold gal) and having it made into something just for her. Some people are quite particular about jewellery, especially if they’re planning to wear it forever
Ask your partner what she wants in a ring because she will have to wear it. Rings are something you need to get the other person’s input on. While it is sentimental this may not be her style at all. Its rather large and doesn’t exactly say timeless to me.
First of all, congrats on this beautiful milestone in your life.
This should really be a conversation with your partner. Has she stated she wants to be surprised by the ring? If not, show her the ring and discuss options.
This ring looks very dated to me. Also, the diamonds look too small for them to be rearranged as a classic engagement ring (if that’s her style).
While family history/sentiment is important, ultimately the engagement ring should be about her because she’s the one who will wear it every day. The diamonds from this ring can always be used for another piece of jewelry (maybe a bracelet she can wear on your wedding day?).
This is a VERY specific ring so I think your best bet is to present it and give your GF the option to reset it (into a suite of wedding jewelry if needed).
I agree with the other comments on letting her know we can absolutely rework the diamonds and metal into a custom piece just for her.
What I’d do with the rings for the proposal is unsolder the bands, get them polished and cleaned, and propose with the middle ring
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So I just purchased a ring for my girl and originally, I wanted to propose to my girl using a ring that was passed down in the family (for sentimental reasons) My girl is the sentimental type, however this ended up not being a option. Im happy to see it is for you.
You could take it to a jeweler and get it refurbished / restored to look new again past what you are currently doing.
and to be fair after you propose, you can always tell your girl you can buy her another ring if this isnt her “style”.
I think this is unique not a mass produced something that every bride has although we cannot see the proportions on your fiancee’s hand
Another vote for getting it cleaned up, proposing with it as-is, and offering to reuse the stones and gold for a new look if your partner chooses.
If they do choose to reset it, you might consider taking some really good photos of it so you can keep a record of this lovely family history. Anything your mom might remember would be great to add as well.
Good luck!
Can we see the engagement ring separately?!? I think purposing with it and then deciding from there is the best choice. I think the 3 stone isn’t as intimidating for this process. 😂
I actually love the center band with the three stones. Is there a way to remove the two side bands and just propose with the three stone ring? That would make the whole thing feel a little more delicate if that’s more her style. Then she could customize her wedding band to make it feel more like her ring while still honoring tradition.
Dont propose with a wedding ring
I inherited my mom’s wedding ring when she died, and I always wanted it to be my wedding ring when I was younger, but by the time I met my now-husband, I realized it really wasn’t my style, so I took the diamond out of it and had a new setting designed. Like yours, it’s a very thick ring, and I wanted something finer. Then for our 10th anniversary, I took her setting that had been sitting in a box all those years and had it reset with a different gemstone, and I wear that on my right hand. I actually get a lot of compliments on it, and I get to have something sentimental on each hand. I’d start by asking your mom if she’s okay with you resetting the stones in a different ring. If so, I’d either reset them or propose with this one and let your partner pick out a new setting afterwards.
If this is the actual ring I would have the two outer bands removed and use the eRing only. (At least for now) Not to say the bands can’t be used but that is a LOT to wear as an eRing
It is dated. I wouldnt call this timeless. You could propose with it as is and then tell her you wanted her input on redesigning it so you could do it together
I would reset this to a 3 stone engagement ring and then use all the small stones in a band in the color of her choice, either yellow gold or platinum. This would not be considered a timeless style or everyone’s cup of tea
This should be a pair of earrings, a solitaire, and an infinity band.
Take it to the jeweler and have it refreshed and repaired so it looks like new again
The ring is very nice. The sentiment is lovely. That ring is very dated. Propose with it and let you finance pick a ring she wants. You could also use some of the stones in a new custom ring. You could use the out side bands as wedding bands.
I love the setting shape, don’t love the bezel styles of the setting but I like the composition. It’s a really cool piece. If it’s three separate rings stacked I would say maybe hold one off for an anniversary?
Is your mom against the ring being remade into something your future wife will love?
Personally, that’s not my style and I’d feel uncomfortable wearing that much jewelry. She might love it and want to keep it as is.
Your mom giving the ok for remaking it is fantastic. I’d propose with it as is and then work with your fiancé to make the ring of her dreams with the gold and diamonds! 💍
Sentiment wins! Your Mom has a beautiful heart ❤️ I am happy for you and congratulations 🎉 the rings are classy, timeless and beautiful 🤩
When my husband proposed, he opened the ring box and there was a coupon, “good for one engagement ring of your choice.” While this wasn’t a great choice for me (I’m not picky about jewelry and I would have been happy with anything HE picked out), maybe you could do something similar with your mother’s ring in the box with a “coupon” to redesign or get a ring of her choice. It seems gals really love to pick out their own jewelry these days. I was too embarrassed and picked a smaller and simpler ring than my husband would have picked out. Best of luck to you.
Besides the question if she’ll like it or not – please also make sure this won’t hurt the relationship between her and your mom. I used to be the girl who would take it, say thank you, and lie that I love it. Then not wear it. If she declines, how would your mom react? If she wants it but wants to reset it or change the stones would your mom be upset? The worst scenarios need to be thought of. Mother in law and wife relationships are very important if you want a peaceful life lol
I wouldn’t call this timeless, but if you can reuse the stones I think that’s a great option!
Very sweet of your mother! I’d have this reset into a 3 stone ring and matching diamond wedding band for the proposal.
The three stones are lovely. The other pieces might be too much for most hands.
I would be hesitant to pull out apart as she may love it as is. I would personally be sad if my partner took apart a ring with sentimental value before we talked it out.
Congratulations.
Your Mom wants you to marry, obviously. Tell her that the ring **for sure** is going to be taken apart and made into something else. See how she reacts to that, and give the ring back if she is not OK with that.
This will work for a proposal, but the style is dated, so plan to have a custom ring made incorporating 1-3 of the stones. Your other option is to get a large lab-grown oval solitaire.
The wedding bands (soldered to the ring at the top and bottom) would be compatible with many different styles of solitaire, so that could be an option as well.
Since Mom has given her blessing for this to be redesigned, I would do that! You’ve got great bones to work with here. The style is definitely dated, but using the stones and the metals will maintain the legacy and the sentiment. Best of luck!
The ring with Big three stones are great. But not the to rings surrounding it
I mean everything about it is trending upward even if overall it’s a bit dated. She might like it 🤷♀️
I would definitely get it reset! The likely hood that this is her style is minimal and the ring has two band soldered to it. My e-ring was made up of family heirloom diamonds and I absolutely cherish it however my husband got it set into a new setting for me to enjoy and feel as my own! No one wants a old shoe unless it fits and feels perfect.
I see your mom gave the blessing to have the stones reset. I’d propose with this ring, and allow your fiance to redesign it into something she loves.
I think it would look beautiful to use the three main stones in the engagement ring, and the smaller diamonds in the wedding band.
Love the idea of proposing with this ring with the option of her picking something she wants or reset the diamonds (if that’s something you are ok with).
I almost guarantee she won’t like this. It is bulky and dated. Sorry!