Did Anyone Else Pick Out Their Own Engagement Ring?
Engagement rings have a magical allure, representing love, commitment, and a beautiful chapter in our lives. But let’s talk about a trend that’s gained significant momentum over the years: selecting your own engagement ring. Did you choose your own? If so, we’d love to hear your story!
The Joy of Personal Choice
Engagement rings are a deeply personal symbol, and many find great joy in selecting a piece that truly represents their style and taste. While traditional customs often imply that partners should be surprised, an increasing number of individuals are taking the reins, opting for co-creation or full selection of their own rings.
Share Your Experience!
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Finding the Perfect Gem:
- What was the process like for you? Did you research different gems, cuts, and settings?
- Did you find a stone that had special meaning or significance?
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Crafting Your Unique Style:
- What design aspects were non-negotiable for you? Did you prefer classic elegance, modern artistry, or perhaps a vintage vibe?
- Did you include any personal touches, such as engraving or unique details?
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Partner Involvement:
- Did your partner play a role in the decision-making process, or did they let you take the lead?
- How did you feel about the idea of choosing your ring together versus the more traditional surprise?
The Empowerment of Choice
Choosing your own engagement ring can be an empowering experience. It allows you to celebrate your individuality and make a choice that resonates with who you are. It opens the floor for discussions about preferences, styles, and even finances, fostering a deeper connection between partners.
Fun Fact: The Diamond Debate
Among the myriad of choices, diamonds often reign supreme, but what about alternative stones? From vibrant sapphires to elegant emeralds, did you consider unique stones? How did you arrive at your final choice?
Show Us Your Rings!
We invite you to share pictures of your engagement ring! Let’s create a gallery of styles and stories:
- How did you decide on the final design?
- What does your ring mean to you?
- Any tips for future brides or grooms selecting a ring?
Join the Conversation!
Whether you picked out your own ring, have a couple of rings in mind for the future, or you just love the intricacies of gems and settings, this is the place for you. Share your stories, ask questions, and let’s support one another in this journey of love and beauty.
Here’s to the sparkle in our lives—both in relationships and those stunning rings we cherish! 🥂💍✨


It’s a common practice nowadays I think. If not picking exactly, then at least going together to try out what looks nice on your hand and then he picks out of a couple of them. I like that practice, especially when engagement is not a huge surprise. To everyone their own.
Got engaged in 2011 without a ring, so I was involved in the entire process. It’s not that unheard of
Yes, he would not of picked what I liked. I picked it and he chose when and how to ask me. We had already discussed getting engaged.
https://preview.redd.it/aoaqie9vpe5g1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ed5b0f50f5dfdaad19e3d9e69efdc42c4714c204
I did! I work in jewelry and have over time come to the realization that surprise big jewelry purchases just don’t work for me. If I don’t love my jewelry, i won’t wear it and it will be upsetting. And I’ve been with him long enough that I know his taste is pretty different from mine. So we went and picked it out together.
https://preview.redd.it/axufx2lsqe5g1.jpeg?width=2572&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=44eb0acf667d537e8dcf6f460e001f88e9d96ab1
We went together to shop, and I fell in love with mine. I picked out my band later, so replace the thin Amazon band we originally used.
https://preview.redd.it/s7njc921te5g1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29ac6ec7d5ddadedabcb7d6efea4d89f65c3b5d3
I picked mine super early in our relationship kind of by accident. We knew really fast that we were gonna get married and it occurred to me that someday I was going to have to make decisions about a wedding that I had never considered before. Since the ring comes first, and my now husband has some anxiety around gift giving, I figured I should just get an idea of what kind of style I like and on the first website I looked at I accidentally fell in love with a ring. Spent a lot of time looking on other sites and at other styles but never found anything I liked better. That was six years ago and now it’s the ring on my finger
I bought us a house this year, and plan on not having a wedding so we can get a very nice ring. So yeah, im picking it 100%. We found the perfect estate ring, it needed an upgraded front stone. So they let me pick one off another ring.
So I seen it, but with a diamond a fraction of the size that it is now. Payments are almost up.
He’s getting shifty asf ya’ll. Slipping “next month when I have less expenses now that the ri-” lmao. I heard nothing.
But you’re gonna see me soon, a christmas proposal is exactly what I want.
https://preview.redd.it/kehgx8dhte5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=26d9abee93070a52fd127ab8e9d8e90d66ac7acf
I told him what to get. Sent him a link haha. Your ring is beautiful.
https://preview.redd.it/6g1j7w9jte5g1.png?width=1215&format=png&auto=webp&s=74398315a7b0f2d07fa5f9d00acd71717ae6005c
We designed the ring together. Couldn’t have imagined it any other way! Congratulations btw!! Beautiful ring!
Yup! Went with my sister, took notes and pictures, and made a whole shared Note for my man lol.
Yep! I wanted something that resembled a very special ring I’d dreamed of using for my engagement since I was a kid, but my fiancé wanted me to have something new.
He knows I’m particular about jewelry so he had no intention of picking something out without me. We shopped around together but I just happened to find this one when I was out on my own and it was an immediate yes. As soon as I saw it all my other contenders couldn’t compare.
https://preview.redd.it/90uifjtjve5g1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5df276a0aaf815a444a6d07827cbdb6b064c6c5
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Yes! Picked out this exact diamond on my own and met with another jeweler explaining what setting I wanted. He went and picked up the diamond and got it set with their notes 🙂
https://preview.redd.it/rcj6eq9lve5g1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8197eb3a9024bbc38878aa22944c3d278a96ea22
Yes! And so happy I did! Yours is stunning!
Yep! My husband proposed at the top of the Eiffel Tower back in 2009 with a ring he bought from a market, then when we got back home we went to the jewellers together to pick out my actual ring. He wanted to make sure I liked it, plus he was anxious about misplacing it while we were on our European trip so he found the cheap one at a market and used that. I still wear it on my right hand and love it just as much as the engagement ring we chose together so I just think of it as having two engagement rings ❤️
https://preview.redd.it/li5dilgdwe5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8270a84820dab613f8d1a5bc758a2ed7470d522
Yes I chose it… he just brought me to the store and let me loose 😆
Yes! My husband said that if he’s spending that amount of money on something he wants to be 100% sure I love it
https://preview.redd.it/lvgddbj7we5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8ff1446d109718bc4a249b82d80033f8b9fa57c
I did!! My husband has great taste but he was lost when it came to engagement rings. I sent him pictures of rings like mine, and he designed it with a jeweler in my hometown. Bonus: the side stones are from a pair of diamond earrings my dad got me for my 16th birthday. So it’s extra special to me! Wouldn’t change it for the world!!
I worked for a jeweler for 3 years and most women picked out their own rings 😂 of they have their bf exact pictures of what they wanted with their ring size
It’s gorgeous
https://preview.redd.it/6zkj38x5xe5g1.jpeg?width=1931&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ca97594091f3f85c92bdbbc32811c6e93f42eb0
I picked mine out as well. However, i gave my fiance my top 3 and he went and picked out the final by himself. So it was still a bit of a surprise.
Hell yea, I picked both of my engagement rings hahaha My first engagment did not last, but I picked the ring by myself. He had no input, and honestly, I didn’t want him to either (wrong person for me). But when I met the right guy, we went ring shopping together. He let me show him the style that I really liked and preferred, and he went back later without me to make the purchase. I don’t think it hurts, it was honestly so much fun, and we really enjoyed our time together going and trying them on. It’s a really sweet memory we cherish now 🙂
https://preview.redd.it/o42cxoloxe5g1.jpeg?width=4000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29bd208be4d64cbfb8c8c19f74e99ad20529d310
Yes. It ensures that it will be a ring you will love and cherish forever
I showed my husband the style I liked and told him to get whatever size he could afford. I guess it made it easy because it was a round solitaire.
This is super common 🙂 I wore my mom’s original rings for a bit which i was happy with and agreed to right from the start when she offered them to us. She upgraded after about 10 years, and the plan was always for me to pick out exactly what I wanted later for an upgrade like my mom did (then keep the original ring for my daughter – regardless of if she marries or uses it for engagement ) . I thought it would still be a few years before we did this but my husband surprised me by insisting on doing it this past summer. I got my big round solitaire with the exsct prongs, band with, metal color, and stone i wanted.
https://preview.redd.it/2kh156a9ye5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=863e8eb3114a7f280e1a5c3077405133e765af52
My fiancée and I talked so I had an idea what she wanted but I picked out the ring and added a gold/diamond halo under the setting so something was a surprise and from me alone. Got her a solid gold 24K band with a 4 carat diamond. I felt it was a great way to make sure she got what she wanted while I was able to add to the ring. Needless to say she was ecstatic.
https://preview.redd.it/rz4sr8yeye5g1.jpeg?width=1103&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad361397320c48193388ddba054b91e9e948cb76
Yes, it’s going to be on your hand forever so you should like it and it should make you smile.
My partner is letting me design mine and has given me full control within his budget since I’ll be the one wearing it. It’s been a fun process and he’s been along for the ride!
I love it too! My husband has a 50/50 track record on jewelry, so I picked mine out after he proposed (we went together so he did have an opinion but I had final say).
I did and after 14 yrs, I just designed my new one.
https://preview.redd.it/w8yqutza2f5g1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=95ffaf48a4cee9c77f26e8e7897af7d36d95badc
Excuse the awful nail polish, but I picked out mine! Came from a long time personal family jeweler in Philadelphia!
https://preview.redd.it/c1uqe23b4f5g1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=dcb1d7f84425811f5a66dfa39008ca692b7c0e80
Your results in this subreddit are going to be a bit skewed lol, I feel like this is a place where the kind of people who’d pick out their own ring congregate.
I did in fact pick out my ring, and have no regrets! If anything, it made everything more special and exciting– ring shopping together was so fun, and I didn’t see my ring in person until the proposal, so it felt like the best of both worlds. Of course, I’m also very happy to have exactly what my picky little heart wanted!
Your ring is stunning! Congratulations!!
I picked mine. It was within our budget and I love it. I think it’s the perfect size for my hand.
Center stone is a 1/3ct. So not big but with all the other diamonds and the overall shape, it’s a good size with a great sparkle.
[7/8ct total weight natural diamond in 14k rose gold and white gold.](https://www.kay.com/previously-owned-neil-lane-engagement-ring-78-ct-tw-diamonds-14k-twotone-gold/p/V-885395309)
https://preview.redd.it/hnz9iffb6f5g1.png?width=1728&format=png&auto=webp&s=c764d2b2f327304847b6792ba1594d302438b318
I picked out my first 27 years ago and my (our) 25th anniversary wedding set (pictured)
https://preview.redd.it/p1t9ja8a8f5g1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fbce7987d0e6fb5d69e73c40ebfa9bb471203021
My husband picked out the diamond and surprised me with that and then we found the actual setting together. We were window shopping and walked past a jewelry store with a setting he liked. I felt “meh” about it. But we went in and I tried it on and LOVED it. I was just looking at my set today and thinking how much I still adore it – 26 years later. It’s tension set in platinum and I’ve never had any issues with it and it cleans up beautifully.
https://preview.redd.it/fpujb614af5g1.jpeg?width=1980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a18442a0f5013c3e1c568ddb491953d897569da1
Yes I picked mine 🥰
https://preview.redd.it/tnxgdo08cf5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2a617c4444693614bdeaae593d1ac180b4c204e1
I basically did, I picked it out and a year later.. he custom made it for me at the jewelers, literally exactly what I wanted.
I did. My husband admits he knows nothing about jewelry and just wanted me to be happy with it because I’m the one wearing it.
https://preview.redd.it/k1r3369lif5g1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=3ee2992f215b35a82c60211abe7dcf68f018e45d
Yes! We actually looked at a few together and I got his feedback too. We found it vintage and that alone would have been a struggle to know without me involved. It was the best because I couldn’t wait to wear it and knew I loved it. Your ring is lovely and picking something we wear every day for our entire lives is a great choice!
https://preview.redd.it/w72uklzgkf5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de9e0ae1b12222c37b827bf5f79481d525187c1b
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I didn’t. I didn’t even know I was going to be proposed to. Engaged Aug 1988, married May 1989.
Edit to add we started dating Feb 1988.
I picked out my solitaire and my wrap. Love them so much
https://preview.redd.it/xdnu2suvnf5g1.jpeg?width=1960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4891ece845add7824f8fdc9cecb9548fe544725c
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Yep I knew exactly what I wanted
I picked mine!
https://preview.redd.it/vcpibefktf5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d06794a12c69297abaf1c3308266bdb4f934a62a
No. And I’m okay with that. We both agreed that it ruins it a bit to pick out a specific ring. I’ve also avoided looking at rings as I don’t want to fall in love with one and get a ring very different from it. But he did ask for vague guidelines on what I want and don’t want. While I do have to be the one to wear it, it is an expression of his commitment to me and how well we know each other. I trust his judgment.
I sure did, except he went bigger and better than my description.
https://preview.redd.it/5fy8pas3xf5g1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=a508f72763404fd1d9dbfc9f132609886c71536f
Guilty, but I suggested it and he seemed grateful I did. Also, I hate diamonds and there was a very good chance he would’ve gotten me diamonds
https://preview.redd.it/jpofq19oxf5g1.jpeg?width=1641&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=183646279c6d7cbeaedecbae955c0bb33b958ffc
Yes I did!
https://preview.redd.it/mokw1jwt0g5g1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7febab6159542d5209707dcc8fde3921c05c218
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yes bc had i not, he would’ve chosen something completely opposite of what i wanted🤣