Did You Help Your Partner Pick Your Engagement Ring? Let’s Spark a Conversation!
Engagement rings are more than just sparkling symbols of love; they hold stories, emotions, and a lifetime of memories. When it comes to choosing the perfect ring, there’s a debate that many couples find themselves in: should the partner help pick the engagement ring, or should it be a surprise? Today, we invite you to share your experiences, insights, and cherished moments in our community!
The Role of Personal Touch
For some, the idea of picking out an engagement ring together can be a thrilling adventure. Choosing a ring is not just about aesthetics; it’s about personal tastes, preferences, and the subtle nuances that make your relationship unique. When both partners are involved, it can result in a ring that truly reflects the recipient’s style—creating a lasting bond in the process.
Questions to Consider:
- Did you discuss styles before the proposal?
- Was there a particular gem or setting that you both loved?
- Did you create a wishlist or a mood board?
The Element of Surprise
On the flip side, there’s immense joy in the element of surprise! Many people cherish the idea of their partner thoughtfully selecting a ring that embodies their love story. It’s a testament to how well one knows the other’s preferences and style.
Questions to Consider:
- Did you give hints or clues to your partner?
- How did your engagement ring turn out? Was it everything you dreamed of?
- What emotions did you experience when you first saw it?
Share Your Ring!
No matter where you stand on the spectrum, one thing’s for certain: every engagement ring tells a beautiful story. We’d love to see your engagement rings! Post pictures and share the story behind your ring. Is it a family heirloom? Did you go for the latest trends? Perhaps you designed it together!
Learning Together
Alongside sharing your personal stories, let’s also take the chance to educate each other about rings.
- What gems do you think are underrated?
- Which cuts make a ring stand out?
- Dream settings that capture the essence of style?
Share tips and tricks you picked up along the way or ask questions if you’re on the lookout for a future ring!
Let’s Discuss!
Join the conversation! Whether you picked the ring together or your partner surprised you, your experience is valuable. Drop your stories, insights, and photos below. Don’t forget to tag your ring to help others find inspiration for their future engagement.
This is a space to openly celebrate love, share knowledge, and admire stunning designs. We can’t wait to hear from you! ✨💍
We looked a lot and then saw one we both liked. For my 20 yr anniversary set he surprised me~ but after 20 years he knows my style well and nailed it!
I had no involvement in the selection of the ring but mu fiance had a comprehensive list of everything I loved and hated so it made shopping easier on him
I (39AFAB) choose then both because he doesn’t care, he just wants to marry me, he said he’d wear a ring of string if that’s what it took.
Nope! I mentioned that i liked the marquise shape months before, and he knew I did not wear gold. He picked it out 100% on his own, no assistance from me. Proposed on Christmas after we got home from visiting his family, so I was completely surprised!
Yes I’m the one wearing it 💅
My husband proposed with a dollar bill ring (quetzal from Guatemala) that our friend made for us a few years back… and told me I could design the ring entirely on my own with a budget. That’s just how we are and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. We have very different tastes and I’m sure I would have loved what he chose but I was able to design the ring I’ve imagined my whole life.
Everyone deserves to cherish something they actually enjoy looking at and wearing. It’s okay to be different and to do things differently.
My partner described the ring she wanted, but just for fun we went to multiple jewelers together. Thank god we did because when she tried on a ring that was very similar to what she’d described, she realized she hated it. We eventually found the one and it was so different from what I would have bought her. But it was also so clear that it was what she wanted.
We went to a couple of other jewelers after that and when they asked what she wanted, she just described the ring we had just been looking at. So I went back without her and bought that one.
It was great because not only was she surprised that I’d bought the one, she was also ecstatic because she was in love with the ring. We’re both so thankful for the went shopping together. Otherwise, she’d be smiling at something that after wearing for 5 seconds she’d decided wasn’t actually to her taste.
yes we went and picked one out together – i tried them on but they had to order it and stuff so they just let him know when it was ready
Yes!! I wanted something I know I’d love forever. We went shopping together and I found out I didn’t like what I thought I liked. I took what I learned from that and found a couple online I liked. I let him choose from those. It was still a surprise because I had no idea when he would pop the question. And still exciting since I picked the ring online, I had never seen it in person!
I wanted to be surprised, and I liked the idea of the ring being something he picked out special for me even if it was not exactly what I might have chosen for myself. So I asked him not to involve me. I did give him a couple simple guidelines to ensure I didnt totally hate it!
He came with me to give his opinion, but I picked my own ring. We don’t have the same taste in jewelry, so I doubt he would have picked something that I liked.
Unless you like a ring that’s really straight forward to pick out, help pick and the surprise can be how the proposal happens.
This is very common these days – all my friends were involved in their ring selection process in some way (some wanted a surprise so they tried things on and gave a few specifics and guidelines but left the final details up to their partners, others designed every single aspect of the ring).
My situation is a little different because my mom offered her original bridal set to us when we started talking about engagement being soon. She upgraded years later but her original bridal set is what she married my dad with in 1987. She actually picked it out back then (within a budget of course) which was NOT common then – but she’s particular. Our plan was to do the same as her .. upgrade someday. Someday ended up being sooner than expected and we recently upgraded my ring – and i chose everything about it (there are a surprising amount of choices to make even for a classic round solitaire). . So in the end, neither ring was a surprise haha
I gave him a list of preferences, like the shape and size of the diamond, the color of the band, and vaguely the style of the band (I didn’t want a solitude, so I told him to buy one with very simple and small extra details around the main diamond). I also gave him a few sample pics for reference. That way I can get what I want without having everything spoiled, and he’s not clueless about picking the right one 😊
I told my fiance I wanted to pick out my ring. We went to jewelry stores together and I ended up customizing a ring. When the proposal happened it was still a surprise for me since I hadn’t seen the finished ring!
Similar to you, we knew it was going to happen but didn’t know when. As it turned out we were on holiday, passed a lovely-looking jewellery store, went in and both loved the same one. He bought it and did the official ask at the counter. It suited us and our way of doing things perfectly.
I made a very detailed PowerPoint with pictures for my now fiancé. It included details like styles I liked, metal color, cut, vendors I liked. There were plenty of designs I would have been over the moon about and wanted to give him some room to make decisions.
I handed the PowerPoint off to my best friend and told my fiancé to ask her for it when he was ready to propose.
This way, the proposal was a surprise and he didn’t have to do any guessing with what I wanted in a ring.
I was suuuppppeeerr involved! It’s something I will wear daily so I didn’t want it to be something that wasn’t my style/durable enough for my constant abuse. The actual choosing of the ring was not a surprise at all, we worked with a local jeweler and designed both our rings at the same time. The proposal was still completely a surprise! I had no idea when he was going to propose and he did it with my entire family in on it! It was awesome 🥰
🩷
I was totally surprised and didn’t give any input on the ring. Months before I had mentioned that I don’t like diamonds so he got me a sapphire. I probably would have picked a different setting but the one he picked out is really pretty and practical. I picked my wedding band.
I designed the ring as I was extremely specific with what I wanted. He gave me a budget to work with and paid for it.
My boyfriend and I are designing my ring together and it’s been so much fun! He was really adamant that while he wouldn’t mind picking something out he wanted me to love it. The more I looked at rings online the more I realized that I wanted to design it myself.
We did 4 jewelers in one weekend and went to lunch or had drinks after each one. We called it a sip and debrief haha
Now that we’ve settled on a jeweler we’ve all agreed that I will be involved until the CAD is approved. After that they’ll handle everything else. All the jewelers had no problem with this. They all seemed to be open to only communicate certain things with him, like timeline and price.
I literally sent him a link lol.
In reality, this is a very personal process, and there is no right or wrong way to do it as long as it works for both of you.
Surprises make me anxious, so there was zero surprise involved in our engagement. We planned together – ring, location, date, time, and even transportation. It was perfect for us. But I know some people want to be surprised and would hate that. Do whatever works for both of you.
I was surprised by the ring. But he did consult with my best friend, who knew exactly what I liked.
I think everyone should go ring shopping together! I went with my now husband, and I didn’t pick out the specific ring, but we looked at styles I liked so he can get an idea of what I liked, and we also set a budget there as well. She’ll be wearing the ring forever, so definitely go with her to get an idea of what she would like. You dont have to buy the ring right there, you can shop around after.
You can be as involved as you want to be! There’s no right or wrong answer here. My boyfriend and I have gone to look at rings in person twice, and I’ve sent him a lot of links. I first thought I’d like to narrow down a short list of 3-5 rings for him to choose the one from, but lately I’ve been thinking of building my own ring using a vintage setting, so in that case, I’d make the ring and my boyfriend would pay for it, and then I’d give it to him to propose with later 😅
I told him what color metal I would prefer and the stone shape I was leaning towards but that was it! He chose very well.
I knew I wanted an on old mine diamond antique ring, I found it on EBay and he bought it. I wasn’t about to put that type of responsibility on him.
I don’t like surprises. My husband is clueless about jewelry and is frankly bored with the whole ring shopping thing. I got engaged without a ring. I got married with a plain band because we couldn’t afford what I really wanted. Three years in I picked out the ring I wanted, all by myself, showed it to him and he paid for it. Everybody’s happy.
Yes. I love him but I am specific in what I want. Also, sales people can be like vultures. I didn’t want them to take advantage of his ignorance. Once we worked out what I liked, budget, metal, etc., he was able to take that list and get me exactly what I wanted. I didn’t see the ring until he proposed.
I was involved in the exact selection of my ring and I’m SO glad I was. The proposal is still the surprise! In fact, I’m waiting right now- but I know I will LOVE the ring!
I was highly involved in the selection. I love that man, but it’s a lot of pressure to pick something for someone that they will wear everyday for the rest of their life 🤷♀️
We picked it together… or really I picked it with his input and I’m still waiting for the proposal. The anticipation is killing me.
Yes. I knew exactly what I wanted and showed him a picture and then he had it custom made.
At first I was going to let him choose after he talked with my friends and sister and sending him pics of what I thought I wanted, but I kept having dreams where he’d propose and I would of course say yes but I hated the ring lol
We wanted to get our ring sizes checked out anyways so there would be no trouble in having to sneakily find out when he was going to propose, so we decided to go look at rings together to get an idea of what we both wanted. I ended up finding my dream ring at the third store we went to and he bought it in front of me, so I knew he had it but didn’t know when he was going to propose.
It didn’t ruin the surprise for me personally because I still didn’t know when he’d propose and it was a fun experience to do together.
My fiancé and I went ring shopping together 7 months before we got engaged, and I’m glad we did! What I always thought I’d like didn’t look right on me. IMHO, the engagement shouldn’t be a surprise, but the proposal should be! You should be on the same page about rings AND engagement plans before you drop to a knee. It’s a big decision and both of you should be involved in it!
It’s as much as you want to be involved. I didn’t want to pick the exact one- but I wanted to try things on. I thought I would hate yellow gold, and then when I put it on my hand I loved it. So I tried on a few styles, which gave him an idea of what I liked and what I didn’t, and he picked the final one without me knowing. We felt that was the best for the both of us. A surprise for me, but I knew I wouldn’t get a ring I didn’t like!
My husband really wanted to ensure that I adored my ring so he very specially asked for my input.
Why on earth would making the biggest commitment of your romantic life be a surprise as an adult? That seems insane and anti-feminist.
Yes! We went together and it was actually really special. He let me be the final decider but it felt really special designing/picking out things together. The actual proposal and the final ring will be a surprise (I won’t see the finished ring until he proposes) but it felt very “us” and still super romantic. He asked me every step of the way (CAD design pics etc) if I wanted to be a part of them and I really feel like it brought us even closer. The time in between knowing an engagement is coming and the proposal is so special. Treasure this time!!
I gave that man a specific jeweler to work with, told them what I liked, sent him 45 reference photos, and had my measurements on file at the jeweler.
I wasn’t there when they did everything, but I would say I “helped”
I’ve given him my ideas! But personally I find it more special when he picks it out himself and surprises me with the final. But that’s because I trust him fullheartedly. Some people don’t feel that way and that’s okay! It truly is your choice. It’s been done many ways with them all being normal I think
Yes! Our plan was originally to have me go to a jeweler who would take notes and he’d come back and pick something but we decided to go together instead and it was so fun! It was a super romantic milestone for us. Plus I got exactly what I wanted. I didn’t see it after the final 2D design and I was still blown away seeing it in person when he proposed
We went to 2 jewelers together and I ultimately picked out 3 settings that I loved. Through this process of looking together he learned my preferences (diamond shape, gold band, no halo etc) and ring size. Then he has 3 settings to choose from or could do something similar to one of those that he knows I like. It will still be a surprise to me which he chooses! It was important to me that he ultimately picked it.
Yep! We went and tried rings on together and I made a Google drive of inspiration for him. I’m picky about jewelry, and I’m gonna wear it every day for the rest of my life, and he totally agrees that I should have input on it. Bless him, he’s a great guy with a great heart, but he has basically no eye for picking jewelry. So we went together to try a whole array of sizes, shapes, and colors. I have a pretty solid idea of exactly what ring I want and what type of stone, but I also value what he thinks, so we shared in the experience and it was so much fun!
I have an opal custom made ring. I told my now husband that I would help pick out the stone, but the rest would be left up to him because I still wanted a little bit of that element of surprise!
He ROCKED it and I am in love with my ring.
There is nothing wrong with at least sending him some inspo pictures, or helping him pick one out. My fella was worried more about the stone and if I’d like it, so we did that part together and he was comfortable doing the design himself.
Good luck, OP and a *future* congratulations to you!
We got engaged without a ring, then I took over designing it because I knew exactly what I wanted!
Personally my partner and I are choosing/designing the ring together, but then once we have it, the actual proposal will be all up to him to surprise me with 🙂
It varies from couple to couple some people go into together once or twice so the purchaser has a sense of the wearers taste. Others just send the purchaser in with reference photos and some do the whole process together. It’s a very individual experience depending on the couple. Just talk to your partner and decide what works best for you 🙂
Check my post history – I show exactly what I told him/how involved I was! It definitely depends on the couple, but I’m a strong believer that whoever is wearing the ring should ALWAYS get a say in what the ring looks like if they so choose 🙂
Yes! I’m very particular about jewelry and he wanted to make sure that I would be happy with the ring. We designed it together through Frank Darling (who were awesome to work with), and once it went into production we switched all communication over to my husband’s email so it was still a surprise — I never saw the actual ring until he proposed ❤️
If you still want the element of surprise you could show him definitively what you love and what you absolutely hate. Tell him not to go outside of the style you love even if someone says you’ll love it lol
I personally love round stones with dainty bands. I don’t like paved bands, I don’t like halos. I like classic round solitaires on dainty gold bands lol it would be hard to mess that up unless he bought something totally different.
So you can give your partner a very direct idea of what you love without picking out the ring in the store
“The female” 🤢
Yes it’s totally normal for us to be involved with picking out a sentimental piece of jewelry we’re intended to wear forever. More common than not these days.