I Don’t Like My Engagement Ring – Let’s Talk About It!
Hey everyone! 💍
Today, I’m opening up a conversation that many might find a little taboo but is super important when it comes to engagement rings – the reality of not loving that token of forever. Before you gasp in horror, hear me out!
Sharing the Love…and Not-So-Love
Engagement rings are often wrapped in romantic ideals, symbolizing love and commitment. However, what happens when the ring isn’t quite what you envisioned or hoped for? Whether it’s a matter of personal taste, comfort, or simply a mismatch in expectations, I want to hear your stories.
The Ring I Have
Here’s my ring! [Insert a picture of your ring]
At first, I was over the moon. It has a beautiful cut and sparkles like the night sky. But after some time, I’ve realized that it just doesn’t resonate with me. Maybe it’s too big, too flashy, or doesn’t match my style. And I’m starting to wonder if that’s okay.
Why We Might Not Like Our Rings
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Style Mismatch: Sometimes, the ring isn’t a true reflection of who we are. Perhaps you’re a minimalist, and the ring’s too ornate.
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Sentimental vs. Aesthetic Value: Maybe you received a family heirloom that doesn’t quite fit your personal aesthetic. Can you love the meaning behind it but not the design?
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Comfort Issues: Is your ring making your finger sore? Are the prongs too sharp? Comfort is key in a piece you’re supposed to wear forever.
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The Pressure of Expectations: Maybe external opinions influenced the choice – whether it’s family, friends, or social media. Ever felt like you had to love something just because it’s “the norm”?
Let’s Discuss!
- Have you ever felt this way about your ring? Don’t be shy! Sharing might just make someone else feel a little less alone.
- What changes would you make? Would you want to reset the stone, change the band, or go for something entirely different?
- Do you have stories about rings you love or that didn’t quite work out? Feel free to share your pictures; let’s keep the vibe positive and supportive!
Learning and Growing Together
This community is all about supporting one another in our engagement ring journeys, whether that means getting that dream ring created, learning about different gems and settings, or even refreshing a “not-so-favorite” piece. So let’s break down the stigma around not loving every element of your engagement ring!
Let’s show off those rings and share our thoughts! I can’t wait to see the beautiful pieces you all are rocking, along with your honest opinions. Remember, every story adds value to our discussion!
Happy sharing! 💖✨
Well you know what, that’s what he gets for not taking you ring shopping and picking something out that he thought was “cool”. He didn’t take into consideration at all of what you might like. So how he is surprised by this at all? This is exactly why going ring shopping together is so important. Most men have horrible taste, will get caught up in the options, and walk away with something akin to a champions ring.
Totally agree with you, this is entirely too large for your finger and absolutely not appropriate for everyday. You should not wear a ring you do not like for the long haul. Do not settle for this.
Get him to return it and go ring shopping together. Do not feel bad about it. He did not consider your tastes at all, proposed with a champions ring, and is now trying to make you feel bad for that. Just shit all around. Again, do not settle.
Get him to return it. If he is unable, maybe it could be redesigned? A simple solitaire with or without halo with the main stone and use the smaller in a wedding band.
Why is he mad, when he knew what your preferences were, but went against those preferences? You love him, but you told him what you wanted to wear on your finger every day, and he didn’t listen. Why is he mad at you for the choice HE made to ignore your style?
Ask him to come with you so that you can trade this ring in and pick out a new one together. That way, you can both be involved in the redesign process. You deserve to have a ring you love, not that you were emotionally manipulated into loving.
If you don’t like it, you should pick another ring out with him there so he is still part of the process. If he is unable to return it, maybe you can sell it and use the money towards a different ring.
Your ring should feel like it’s your ring. If you’re not happy with it now, you won’t be happy with it later.
This is supposed to be a forever ring and you deserve to wear something you love. Him being angry is unfair because he should be happy you’re being honest with him. Why would he be okay with spending a lot of money on something you don’t like?
It’s okay that you don’t love the ring. Your feelings are totally valid, and a partner who truly respects you will be able to hear that without getting angry or upset.
You can communicate to him that you really appreciate the thought he put into this, but that the ring isn’t your style. Tell him what’s important is that you have a ring that feels like you so you can wear it with pride everyday.
If he gets upset at your honesty, that’s not your fault. That’s a bigger issue about how he handles disappointment or unmet expectations. A healthy partner can hear, “I don’t love this ring” without turning it into a personal attack or guilt trip.
You can be gentle and appreciative, but please also be clear that your feelings are valid and do not accept anger just for being honest about your own preferences. Good luck! 🫶
If he completely went against what he knew you like and is now upset with you for not liking it, your relationship has bigger problems than this ring. I’d proceed with extreme caution. This behavior is a massive red flag.
my soon-to-be-fiancée and i have been shopping together because it’s so important to me that she loves her ring. if i got her a ring she hated, it would show that i didn’t care to listen to what she actually wanted in the first place. that’s indicative of a larger issue in your relationship IMO.
I can’t stand when people (mostly men) say something akin to “So materialistic and ungrateful, do you know how much I spent on you?” and how it’s the thought that counts.
Yes, what the ring represents is most important: an eternal commitment of love and ultimately marriage. But keep in mind that it’s to be worn, ideally, for the rest of your lives so it really should be something she wants to have on her finger every day. It should be her taste, her style. Women are usually a lot more involved in the ring process now, so it blows my mind even more when they show photos or even go to a store with them and state what they would like and the fiancé STILL gets something completely different.
Are you sure he even bought that ring and it wasn’t given to him? That’s an oddly specific style for a man to purchase unprompted.
he can be as mad as he wants you told him what kind you wanted, you showed him a picture!!
An initial upset from him is fine as I assume he’s feeling disappointed/guilty, but ultimately it’s his fault. He picked out a ring he liked not what you liked. Keep the conversation going and see what you can do to go about changing elements of the ring or getting a new ring altogether. I had a similar thing with the stone of my ring (he was almost right) and ultimately we changed it and I’m so much happier. But he needs to listen to you and your feelings. If he’s not doing that then I’m really sorry
I don’t blame you, OP. It would not be my vibe, either. I mean, it is something a lot of people would love, but he was shopping for you, not them… you know?
Why’s he upset? He was buying you something that was to symbolize his promise of a commitment to you for life and I don’t get why he did not go into that shopping experience aware of exactly what you would love. Every time a friend of mine has gotten engaged and I knew their future fiance very well, they’d tell me all the stuff they liked and I’d just drop the info on their future husband like I was giving a court deposition. And, that, along with them telling their partners what they wanted, I guess helped it sink in because none of my friends had surprises when they got engaged.
He should have been taking notes!
This is not your fault. Apparently a lot of men just don’t think about what someone will want to be their engagement ring they plan to wear forever.
You are the one who is supposed to be wearing it for the rest of your life, so your opinion and what you like will always be more important than his idea of what it should be.
I mean, go get him a ridiculous looking piece of jewelry, or clothing item, and tell him he is expected to wear it forever, and to just accept it. He absolutely would not, and would call you crazy if you ever expected that from him. This is no different. He would expect to have a say in what he wears, and would not wear something he hated.
BTW, I wasn’t suggesting your ring is ridiculous, but just giving an example.
Don’t feel bad about not liking it. You have to wear this for a long time. I agree with everyone he should’ve taken you with him and if he did and he still didn’t listen to you, I might reconsider the engagement
It’s beautiful, but it must be really disappointing to have something that you don’t love. Get him to return it!!
Also, it’s totally giving the sacred heart of Jesus (those who grew up Catholic know)
https://preview.redd.it/92m4novabw0g1.jpeg?width=1076&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5991e8f9c946600ddc993abad2ea555976ccdbd
You said you have mentioned casually what you like so I imagine that has left a lot of space for him to decide (i’ve gotten overwhelmed myself trying to pick something I wanted🙈) I think it’s perfectly normal to be upset at the situation but as long as no one is being nasty to each other it’s an easy thing to move forward with. You’re the one who has to wear it so ultimately your choice should matter over his. If he is still within the return window he should return it and if not he should sell it and y’all can pick one out together.
My partner gave me a really ugly promise ring when we started dating ( definitely not as big of a deal as an engagement ring) but we learned then and there that we have very different tastes when it comes to jewlery 😂
I’m so sorry you didn’t get the ring you were hoping for, if you don’t mind me asking what types of ring did you say to him were your preference? There could be a way to exchange this for what you want or rework this into something else closer to your dream ring?
I think some of the comments are missing the point. Yes it is a beautiful ring but it’s not what OP wanted and it doesn’t sound like her preferences were put into consideration whatsoever. It’s going on her finger so it matters how she feels about it! I need men to understand that there is nothing unromantic about picking a ring together, it’s intimate and special. He shouldn’t be putting you down for not liking it.
It is beautiful! But if it’s not you, it’s not you! He should have brought you shopping or payed close attention to the rings you buy/look at, but what’s done is done! If he can’t return it then he can try selling it and getting you one you like better. It’s important for you to like the ring you’re wearing. What is more your style if you don’t mind me asking?
I saw something somewhere on Reddit that had a very embellished ring (looked like a superbowl ring) with a caption, “this is what you get when you let a man pick out the engagement ring with no input at all.”
I feel like your fiancé got blinded by sparkle and chose the ring that kept his attention the longest. Hopefully, you are able to return it and get something you love instead.
Tell him it’s a cocktail ring not an engagement ring. And don’t feel guilty about it. He apparently didn’t pay any attention to you when you showed him something you’d love.
If you don’t like the cut of the center ring, using the stones in a new ring is just going to be spending money for something that’s still now what you wanted. I hope he is able to return it! Hopefully with a day or two he’ll understand that it has nothing to do with your feelings for him. He just didn’t know that the details matter. What you showed him probably just registered as “diamond ring” and when he saw this one he thought “nice, it’s a fancy diamond ring, of course she’ll love it.” Use the analogy of buying something he really cares about and he should understand that you see details that he doesn’t.
My first husband did something similar. He got me a “cocktail ring”. It was pretty – but it wasn’t an engagement ring. It was awkward shaped – so much so that I had to get a band cut to accommodate it and it never sat right.
The worst? It was yellow gold. He knew I HATED yellow gold.
The marriage lasted about 18 months. In hindsight, it made sense. What I wanted was never a consideration.
My now ex husband proposed with a 1 carat princess cut stone delicately placed in a black box with a clear top on a black cushion. He had a jeweller picked out and booked for the day. I said yes and we then went to the jeweller and together came up with ultimately was my choice of setting. I wouldn’t have had it any other way, he met the brief!!
You’re doing the right thing being honest, it’s sitting on your finger and I’m being brutally honest……. It’s not a good ring at all!!😬 he should honour you and change it no questions asked. If he doesn’t he’s a douche, get rid of him, this is test number 1!!!
I wish you both a happy long life, this is a minor setback, hopefully you both rectify this together 🙏❤️🥰
This ring would be exactly something my husband would pick! Honestly the worst taste in jewelry😂 This is like a cocktail ring of the 70s right? Something my mom would have loved but not me! A simple, beautiful solitaire is more my style. After 37 years he finally gets it and I pick out what I love and he pays for it LOL
Also….we are allowed to not like something even if it’s presented to us in a beautiful box!
Well it does remind me of a fish
I don’t like it either. You are right there’s too much going on.
He needs to put his pride aside and admit jewelry is not an area of expertise for him.
Okay I know I’m just gonna get hate, but it’s normal for him to be upset as well as you. He got you something that he thought would be special even if you showed him something you like. You showed him something you like and he didn’t get it. Obviously that is disappointing and upsetting. It doesn’t mean your relationship has deep problems. I think you guys should sit down and openly communicate what you’re feeling. If it’s not working then, then you should talk about where you’re at and where you should go with your relationship. It’s probably embarrassing for him that you didn’t like what he thought would be unique and pretty and also disappointing that you didn’t like it. And I understand what you mean that it isn’t your style and you don’t like it, however, just talk about it in a calm way and honestly and let him talk too.