“My Fiancée Hates Black Rings: A Journey Through Engagement Ring Choices”
Hello everyone! 👋 I’m excited to share my thoughts and experiences in the world of engagement rings, but first, let’s address a little bump in the road: my fiancée isn’t a fan of black rings. I know! 😱 In a world where everyone has their unique tastes and perspectives on jewelry, it’s fascinating how preferences can vary widely.
The Search for the Perfect Ring
As I began searching for the ideal engagement ring, I envisioned a piece that reflected both our styles. I was drawn to the chic and modern appeal of black rings—those striking contrasts that can truly stand out. There’s something undeniably stylish about them, don’t you think? They can add an edgy touch to the traditional engagement ring aesthetic.
However, when I shared some of my favorite black ring options with my fiancée, her reaction was not quite what I expected. Her distaste for black rings prompted me to dive deeper into understanding what makes a ring special for her.
A Matter of Taste: Why Do Preferences Matter?
What I learned is that preferences in engagement rings often go beyond aesthetics; they can be tied to emotions, cultural backgrounds, and even childhood memories. For my fiancée, a traditional or classic look, perhaps with a white diamond or a colorful gemstone, resonates more deeply with her vision of love and commitment.
It made me realize that choosing an engagement ring is not just about what I think looks good. It’s about finding the perfect balance that resonates with both partners.
Exploring Options Together
As we faced this preference clash, I suggested we explore various styles together. Whether it’s the classic solitaire, a halo setting, or even colored gemstones, we can experiment with different designs. After all, engagement rings are a symbol of our unique relationship!
- Gemstones: I introduced her to sapphires, emeralds, and moissanite. Each has its own story and symbolism that makes it special.
- Cuts: Together, we examined round, princess, cushion, and oval cuts. Each cut emanates a different brilliance, and it’s exciting to see which ones catch her eye.
- Settings: We discussed settings from modern to vintage-inspired pieces. Intricate details can elevate a simple ring into something extraordinary!
Share Your Experience!
Now, I want to turn the conversation over to you! Have any of you experienced similar taste differences with your partners? How did you navigate those preferences? Do you have any tips for choosing a ring that might channel both partner’s styles?
Feel free to post pictures of your engagement rings! We can learn from each other’s choices, admire unique settings, and perhaps inspire future purchases. Whether you’re a fan of classic elegance, bohemian vibes, or modern chic, this community is all about celebrating the joy and symbolism behind engagement rings.
Let’s turn this into a vibrant discussion! Share your stories, your favorite rings, or even your dislike for certain styles. After all, the journey to choose an engagement ring should be a memorable adventure for both partners!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! 💍✨
https://preview.redd.it/bl1sdawrgaxf1.png?width=1114&format=png&auto=webp&s=b2ca681f717879287e3f37459496df98253b3989
This is how my husband and I did our rings! I’m not big on the classic diamond. So we picked moss agate for the symbolism and we liked the foresty look. His ring still matches mine with a moss agate inlay and he loved the wood inlay. My ring was white gold and his is black tungsten. It’s normal to have different taste in things, but it should be something you love because you’re the one that will be wearing it 🙂
Rings don’t have to match. These are the rings that we designed at a wonderful jeweller. A black zirconium ring for him and a red gold ring with lab diamonds and a sapphire i already had.
https://preview.redd.it/0ldtaok8aaxf1.jpeg?width=816&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c35ace75a033864eaeb3344b4b4010c42653e8cd
This is a glimpse of how your marriage will be.
My husband has a black ring and it has a rose gold band detail to match my rings. Would that work as a compromise?
I think the only option here is that you are now obligated to show up to your wedding in a black dress.
Rings do not have to match, but I also hate black rings. The only reason I hate them is that I have a more traditional style; I have always pictured classic, simple gold wedding bands for both myself and husband. That’s what my dad and both grandfathers have.
That being said, I would at least offer to compromise for an everyday ring being black and a “special occasion” ring being gold (like for date nights, weddings, church, etc.) You could look into “brushed” metal rings; they aren’t as shiny and a dark silver one could be close enough to a matte gray for you to like it.
My fiancé didn’t care very much about his ring and just said “I want classic plain gold like normal,” which was super easy. But it is okay for you to have strong opinions on something you wear daily!
You die on this hill. And I very rarely say things like that.
I dislike my husband’s ring (also black) because the little rose gold accent has worn off. But HE wears it.
She’s being ABSURD. Why do you have to wear what she likes? It’s on your hand. You look at it all day.
Tell her that if she forces you into a white gold or yellow gold ring, you will eventually take it off and wear something like a silicone band. Because you will. And every time you look at that ring your irritation and resentment will grow.
Maybe a gunmetal color will be a middle ground
There is no middle ground. Get the ring you want. She isn’t the one wearing it.
If she wanted a ring she loves then it’s on fair and practical that you get what you like. I would suggest telling her you won’t wear one at all if it’s something you don’t like. I have to agree with a previous poster in that if she’s not being reasonable about this, then what else will she be trying to control in your future together?
I read this post initially thinking you were trying to get *her* a black ring to wear! Rings do not have to match and yes, you should absolutely be able to choose what you want. These would be my rebuttals:
“A black ring is the equivalent of wearing a black wedding dress.” **No, it isn’t. I’m the groom, not the bride. It’s the equivalent of wearing a black tux.**
“You should get this gold ring, it looks great.” **I don’t want a gold ring. It isn’t my style. I wouldn’t force a black ring on you, so why are you forcing your preferences on me? This is my ring, and I have to wear it every day. I’m going to choose the style I like just like you did.** I’d also remind her that she likely got to pick out her engagement ring, which was in *her* style despite it likely being bought with *your* money!
“But the rings have to match!” **No, they don’t. Go online and you’ll see plenty of examples where they do, and plenty where they don’t. Both of us should be able to pick something we like. Getting a ring style I actively dislike is going to make me not want to wear it, and will remind me of these negative conversations every time I look at it. I don’t want our marriage to be something I think about negatively.**
Seriously though, she’s bulldozing you and not being respectful. You have a right to be upset. I actually wish she was the one posting here because this community would check her real quick!
Could you do a wood and metal ring? It’s disappointing that the aesthetic is more important to her than the meaning behind the rings and her soon-to-be husband’s happiness.
I read this post initially thinking you were trying to get *her* a black ring to wear! Rings do not have to match and yes, you should absolutely be able to choose what you want. These would be my rebuttals:
“A black ring is the equivalent of wearing a black wedding dress.” **No, it isn’t. I’m the groom, not the bride. It’s the equivalent of wearing a black tux.**
“You should get this gold ring, it looks great.” **I don’t want a gold ring. It isn’t my style. I wouldn’t force a black ring on you, so why are you forcing your preferences on me? This is my ring, and I have to wear it every day. I’m going to choose the style I like just like you did.** I’d also remind her that she likely got to pick out her engagement ring, which was in *her* style despite it likely being bought with *your* money!
“But the rings have to match!” **No, they don’t. Go online and you’ll see plenty of examples where they do, and plenty where they don’t. Both of us should be able to pick something we like. Getting a ring style I actively dislike is going to make me not want to wear it, and will remind me of these negative conversations every time I look at it. I don’t want our marriage to be something I think about negatively..”
Tell her if she gets to pick yours, then she gets no say in hers.
This is not how you start a marriage. Your ring, your choice. Order what you love, or take a pause until you two are on the same page.
I am a female and I am telling you Don’t compromise on this if she will not budge on the ring or style you want. It will not get any better in the marriage. I do suggest if you’re going through pre marital counseling to bring it up there if you’re not I do highly recommend it.
Majority of the wedding is going to be about her tastes, this is the one thing you should not back down on. YOU have to wear this ring, not her.
We opted for a brown hammered ring with rose gold interior for my husband. It felt like a good combination of the styles we both liked.
https://preview.redd.it/jgbuijffu9xf1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eeed4aba62391be5eb01318708ed11e6fd160d28
I’m a white gold girl and my fiancé likes yellow gold and two tone stuff, so he just made sure he had some white gold in his ring so that it would match mine at least a little (I didn’t really care about it but he wanted us to look like we belonged together even ring-wise). If she’s getting yellow gold/ white gold, maybe the middle ground would be a black ring with something with a yellow gold stripe in it so that it looks more cohesive like she’s envisioning?
https://preview.redd.it/w8nekmcnt9xf1.jpeg?width=1445&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9c8bb905803dd3c506e4525381382db1fcea102
Either way, in my humble opinion, you’re the one that’s gotta wear it every day so you’re the one that’s gotta love it. That’s what I told my fiancé was more important than anything. It’s a symbol of love and commitment so you should absolutely love it and feel comfortable wearing it since you’ll be wearing it forever
I told my partner I want us to have one matching, simple gold set, for the ceremony and to wear for special occasions.
He plans on having a few additional bands. He wants more jewelry than me 😂
I only care that that his daily driver is a safety band…you know, for his safety (work)
Tbh it’s not the same as wearing a black wedding dress when you’ll be wearing this ring for the rest of your life. I think the best way would be to talk to her and tell her you’re sorry you couldn’t come to a compromise but that you’ll be picking your band. In the event that you absolutely want to compromise, there are some rings like this that you may want to match to the metal of her ring. This brand has gold, rose gold, and silver. Brand is ring bear. Good luck!!
https://preview.redd.it/j8oxtkdpt9xf1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74b5bbf2b42dab52da82902fd37d0821b1d0c86a
Yea no, I wouldn’t be ok with this double standard. Thats not cool and you should be allowed to choose.
Rings DO NOT have to watch. This is no longer the 1900’s! If she is this controlling already, dude!!!!
I have silver, my husband doesn’t care for silver, he wanted black hills gold, guess what he has? 🙂 That’s right. He has Black hills gold!
We were married in 1993, and I didn’t care what ring he wore. I cared that we were getting married!
This is the ring YOU are wearing forever. I think whether she likes it or not is irrelevant because ultimately you’re the one wearing it. I say this about a woman’s ring too. It should be her style because she’s going to be the one wearing it. I also don’t see how it affects her at all tbh. The rings do NOT have to match.
So do you get to pick out her ring?
You should be able to get what you like, period. You’re wearing it not her. My engagement ring is platinum and my wedding band will be also, but my fiancé wants a black ring with chocolate diamonds sooo that’s what he’s getting.
She fears people’s opinions and truly shouldn’t !
She got what she wanted you get what you want !
Fair !
My suggestion is to not marry this woman. You’re getting a tiny taste of how every part of your life will go, from what furniture you’re allowed to have in the living room to how many beers you’re allowed to have on the rare occasion she lets you go out with your friends. You will not have any say about anything in your life.
Controlling partners don’t change, they escalate. I can’t imagine caring about a ring this much, let alone the ring he wears. This is a massive red flag.
This makes no sense. She gets to pick what she wants but you don’t?
Ask her how she’d like it if you dictated her engagement ring design to her. You know what she’d call it? Controlling.
I think traditionally couples get matching metal colors to signify a set. It looks nice in pictures and formal events and all that. That being said, gold prices are super expensive now! It’s not worth it to buy a gold ring you’re never going to wear again. My fiancé and I are getting rings that are not the same metal color but we will have engravings on the inside that match. Maybe you can ask her what about tungsten or wood is making her have this reaction. You should get a ring that you are comfortable with and something you will actually wear on a daily basis.
Some brand suggestions:
[Rustic and Main](https://rusticandmain.com/collections/wood-wedding-rings?usf_sort=bestselling) – they have wood and a ton of other materials inlaid
[Staghead Designs](https://rusticandmain.com/collections/wood-wedding-rings?usf_sort=bestselling) – lots of different metals and natural materials
If she picked her ring you also should get to choose!
That said, a lot of black and wood rings are lower quality. Is it a quality concern? If so, there are some really nice stone inlaid wood rings and tungsten is a good metal choice for black.
I think it’s important that you love a ring that you are going to wear the rest of your life in the same way your fiancé does. Otherwise it’s just setting the precedent that your opinion is irrelevant even for things that should’ve been almost solely your decision.
I would suggest talking to your fiance openly about how you feel, at the end of the day it YOUR ring.
If you end up choosing what she wants, every time you look at your ring, instead of feeling pride and love, I imagine you’ll be reminded of how it came to be….
Please set yourself up for happiness! 🙂
Ask her if it’s more important that you wear your wedding ring or if they match for a picture. I wanted to get my husband a platinum ring, he wanted tungsten, and it is far more important to me that he likes his ring and wants to wear it. The ring is a symbol. The symbol is far more important.
I’m in this boat but it’s not an argument. Fiancé picked mine with my input and he nailed it. He’s given me some input on what he wants and it’s not exactly what I would’ve picked if he had no opinion but I think it’s very “him” and I want him to love it. So that’s the one I’m going with. It also incorporates wood, which I think he will love and be disappointed if it was pure metal. I think you need to tell your fiancée that it’s yours and you want to love it.
Our rings didn’t remotely match. I actually went out of my way to find a unique style that he would love.
How about you tell her exactly what you’ve told us.
If it’s your ring that you’re wearing, you chose it.
Im sorry but sounds like you’re going to marry someone who is the chooser. If you’re going to marry her, you’ll have to learn to compromise (but leaning more her side im assuming)
It sucks to know you won’t be able to make your own choice without some kind of disagreement. Pick your battles wisely and if this is one you want to pick, good luck out there.
What about tungsten? More like a deep grey and can look kind of rugged looking. That’s what my husband has and his looks exactly the same 14 years later because it’s so durable. This is your ring so ultimately she should let you get what you want. I know some people like the idea of having their rings “match” each other in styles, so maybe that’s why she cares.
I think you should be able to pick your own band style. My partner doesn’t like the shiny silver or gold. He is similar to you. I totally don’t mind, he doesn’t need to match me and that’s okay. I don’t think you should have to compromise on this. At best, maybe you agree that on certain special occasions you wear a silver ring. Like her birthdays or something but your everyday ring is what YOU want.
That’s wild she feels she has a say on something YOU have to wear. Unless it’s something offensive black is fine for a wedding band. I would ask her to put herself in your shoes and how would she feel if you told her she had to get an engagement ring in a different colored stone that she detested. Honestly some men refuse to wear a wedding band at all; she needs to relax!
Wtf get the one you want lol. Thats crazy. Youre the one wearing it all the time
Suggest a compromise: get a ring she likes and the black/wooden ring you like. Wear your black/wooden ring for daily wear and hers for special occasions.
This is for your ring, correct? So what you want should be all that matters. I let my husband pick exactly what he wanted (black, just like what you’re probably wanting) and that was fine with me. He loves it and it suits HIM personally.
You should be able to choose your own ring 🥺 I’m sorry
What about brushed titanium as a middle ground?
I didn’t realise rings had to match, I think you should both get a ring that you love