Uneasy Feeling About My Ring 😭
Hey everyone! 💍
I hope you’re all doing well! I’m excited to share my engagement ring with you all, but I also want to talk about something that’s been weighing on my mind lately. I can’t quite shake this uneasy feeling regarding my ring, and I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences.
First off, here’s a picture of my beautiful engagement ring! [Attach Image]
Isn’t it stunning? 💖 I’ve always dreamt of a ring like this—sparkling diamond, intricate settings, and of course, that perfect band. My partner put so much thought into picking it out, and I feel so blessed to have it as a symbol of our love. But here’s the kicker…I find myself feeling a bit conflicted.
What’s the Dilemma?
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Can I Keep It Clean?
With the hustle and bustle of daily life, I worry about keeping the ring in pristine condition. I mean, I adore how it sparkles, but what if I accidentally scratch it or, heaven forbid, lose it? I’ve read about cleaning tips and taking it to jewelers, but it still gnaws at me. -
Style Anxiety
I absolutely love the design, but occasionally I wonder if it suits my personal style. I’m more of a bohemian soul, and sometimes it feels a bit fancy for my casual vibe. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone have pointers on how to style it for different occasions? -
Comparing to Others
I also can’t help but scroll through this community, admiring all the unique ring styles. I see gorgeous rings with different cuts or settings and start questioning whether I made the right choice. It’s not about wanting something bigger or flashier, but more about feeling that connection to my own ring. Am I alone in this?
Let’s Talk!
I’m sharing this not to complain but to open up a discussion. Have you ever felt uneasy about your engagement ring? How did you work through those feelings?
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Would You Change Anything?
If you could redesign your ring, would you alter anything about it? -
Tips for Maintaining Sparkle
What are your tricks for keeping your rings looking as good as new? -
Embracing Your Unique Style
How do you make your engagement ring feel like ‘you’? I’d love to hear about how others style their rings based on personality!
I believe that our rings, no matter what they look like, are significant symbols of love, commitment, and individual stories. Let’s share our experiences and support one another in embracing these beautiful pieces!
Looking forward to hearing from you all! 💍✨
Your feelings are valid. Yes, engagement is about your commitment to each other, but an engagement ring is also a piece of jewellery and if you don’t like it, you don’t like it! I would have an honest conversation about changing it. You said you prefer lab so that’s even easier, is it my understanding they are quite affordable so hopefully you can get the ring you really love. Maybe just go ring shopping on your own to see if you feel differently about a certain type and take it from there? Good luck!
It might be good to go by yourself and try some on to get a feel for what you like on your finger and then consider returning the ring if you feel like you’d like something completely different
With peace and love, if you are within the return window and don’t like it, return it.
Then tell him that you will help him create one that is more your style and will have more meaning because he would essentially be building it. It can be done online if he is overwhelmed in person.
Create a shared note in your notes app and give him a list of preferred shapes for the stone, preferred setting styles, band width and parameters, stone color, clarity, carat weight, etc.
Then he can use that information to build a ring online with a better jeweler and it will be more special. And he will have some guidelines so he isn’t lost or overwhelmed.
Good luck.
First of all congratulations!
Hi I think that if you are within the return window, you should have a chat with your fiance (yay). You did a really smart thing asking him why he picked it and it doesn’t seem that he has any like reaaaallly sentimental attachment to it. He did his best and picked a ring that he liked but it’d not like that he spent months designing it. Which in turn I think gives you space to have a gentle conversation with him that you love it but since it’s something you plan to wear for the rest of your life, you want it to be fully special for both of you and you’d like to consider some other options.
Having said that, I think your ring is lovely and it looks great. As a fellow emerald cut girlie it’s by far my favorite cut. But also totally understand that you are not 1000% in love and that’s what matters
What a spot to be in ! My heart feels for you ! But bottom line you don’t like you don’t like it !
I think it’s more than fair to mention you feel you lost out on the opportunity to go shopping with him and choose your ring together!
Because this ring has a lot of sentimental value to it you can either wear it on the other hand or put it on a tiny satin pillow in front of your wedding pics or hang it on a chain over a pic .
Apologize of course but do mention you have another ring in mind and ask if it’s ok to share that experience together and get another one which is a lab or even a moissonite !
You need to be happy too 🙂
Best of luck
I know this may be an unpopular opinion but I picked my engagement ring out. If I had to wear it for my entire life my husband wanted me to have a say in it! If you’re unhappy you have to speak up as hard as it could be because you wanna look down at your hand and be HAPPY and not disappointed. Congratulations!!
ALSO we are going to the store next week because it is too large (i’m wearing a temp sizer rn) so maybe this could be a good jumping off point to change it?
I would return it. You should have something you love since you’re going to be the one wearing it. I’m sure he will understand and your not being materialistic. I returned my first engagement ring and got something I love. I was on the fence about the 1st ring but he said I could return it if I didn’t like it. I tried but it just wasn’t working for me. Don’t feel bad! He loves you and wants you to be happy.
Don’t be too hard on yourself…it’s completely normal to have mixed feelings. You clearly love your fiancé, and it’s okay to also wish the ring felt like you*.* Maybe sit with it for a bit, see how it feels after some time, and gently talk to him about possibly customizing or adding something together later. It could turn into a sweet, shared experience instead of something bitter or uneasy. All the best!
As someone who is super sentimental about everything, I really, really feel your dilemma. You’re caught between kinda not liking the ring physically, and loving what it represents and that it was the one he picked and proposed with.
Here’s what I think: Personally I don’t like the ring either. It’s a very dated design, isn’t that great structurally with that many side stones, and just kinda looks like what it is, a relatively cheap option from a big company that plenty of people have had issues with.
I think it’s actually a good thing that he didn’t put a heap of effort into choosing it, because then it’d be more sad that you don’t love it.
It doesn’t sound like he didn’t put in any thought because he doesn’t care, but that he was just overwhelmed because like most guys he just doesn’t know anything about jewellery (and there’s a lot to know).
He sounds like a really sweet and understanding guy, and I reckon you should gently bring it up to him and explain how you feel.
Explain how you absolutely love everything about the proposal, but as someone who *isn’t* overwhelmed by the thought of choosing a ring, and would in fact love that process, you’d really like to go on the journey with him of picking something that you’ll love. It’ll be a whole adventure for you two. God knows you’re going to be wearing the ring a lot, you need to love it.
He’ll totally get this, and you’ll immediately fall in love with the new “adventure” ring.
That’s my take, anyway. Good luck!
He thought it was beautiful and practical. It sounds like you didn’t get the beautiful story you wanted to hear to go with why he chose the ring (but you actually did.) Men typically (at least in my experience) don’t think about all the possibilities. They get the first thing that meets all their requirements without falling into choice paralysis.
Your fiancé seems like a good guy. If you are really unsure about the ring- bring it up to him. He may not understand why you don’t “love” it, but he wants to make you happy and if getting you a new ring will do that for you… he’ll make it happen.
Congrats on the engagement! And good luck!
(I think you’re ring is gorgeous, emerald cut is my favorite.)
Omg did I write this ? Going through the same thing too. Tho I would love a ring like yours because mine is tiny. i told my fiance and he got upset :/
RETURN IT!! if you don’t LOVE it don’t keep it. You should have a ring you love and want to wear forever.
I don’t think you should feel bad for wanting to pick out a ring that makes you feel giddy when you look down at it. The sinking feeling isn’t going to go away. Another reason I don’t think you should feel bad is because your fiance admitted he went the easy route and just grabbed something online, zero thought was put into it, he just needed the prop for the event (proposal), so he can’t act sad if you tell him you want something more your style.
As someone who stares at their gold band marquis every single day, go get your ring girl. PLEASE you won’t stop thinking about it. It’s not a big deal at all, not like he custom designed it.
I picked my ring I hated the one he got. I am the one wearing so we went and changed it. Same price nicer ring. Urgh my hands look so old. Weird how we get old but still think the same as we did younger 😂😂
https://preview.redd.it/98046g4u29yf1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6275990ab6c804b5f6b7acb8a2540d228582dac9
Be honest. I didn’t like my original engagement ring. Went with him to get something close to what I wanted. He was totally ok with it!
Please be honest with him, and true to yourself. If this ring really bothers you then down the road this may cause issues. Communication is key. Congrats!
I would talk to him about it! I think he’d understand if you said it in a very nice way that recognizes his efforts. “hey I love you and want to marry you and appreciate the effort you went through but I don’t think I love the engagement ring as something I want to wear every single day for the rest of my life. I’d like to look for something else that feels more me in our price range and return this one since we are still in the return window. I didn’t want to come to this conclusion too late. I hope you can understand, and again, I so appreciate you trying to go to stores and looking online to find something you thought was pretty and a good value. It does not go unnoticed.”
You need to pin down what it is you don’t like. You cannot tell him that you are “uneasy” about the ring. It’s incredibly vague and kind of odd wording that is going to come off weird and very negatively.
This would not be my ideal ring as I’m not really into halos and prefer plain bands. It’s too “busy” for me. But that being said, it’s an objectively pretty ring.
I think this could be a could exercise in you actually communicating what you want. It’s a skill some of us need a lot of practice in and one that benefits any successful marriage.
Expecting a straight male to have good taste in women’s jewelry is too much lol. I gave my bf specific instructions on what I wanted, went ring shopping, and even did research on where he should go to buy. The proposal is up to him. But I’m not messing around with something I’m stuck wearing for the rest of my life.
Be kind but direct and say you love him and the proposal but the ring doesn’t fit your personal style and go ring shopping with him.
“Honey this ring really isn’t my jam. Let’s return it and pick something together.” Idk why its so hard for us women just to plainly speak our mind. I kept a ring i hated for six years. Don’t be me. Good luck!
So I felt that way with my ring. My stomach sunk and I almost wanted to cry.
Except it’s exactly what I’d asked for, what I thought I wanted… and even THEN I didn’t like it.
We couldn’t return it, but we sold it to a jewelry store for melt value to get money to buy a new one. My wife understood how important it was for me to have something on my finger I genuinely loved.
OMG I have the same ring !! So I think it’s lovely obviously, can’t be impartial here 😂 I insisted we go together to choose it, because I’m picky and I wanted to be happy with my forever ring. Well I am, it makes me smile every time I look at it. And I think you should feel the same, even if it’s not with that one. Return it while you can, and and go try with your fiancé other styles. Make it a fun moment. He might be disappointed but the feeling won’t last. The ring and the marriage will hopefully 😊
Also I’m gonna pair it with a simple gold band I think.
https://preview.redd.it/1mzlb4x4e9yf1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1f032a1ead749df4491796cd1eab6362c195625d
Is your fiancee military? He sounds so much like my fiancee: the discussion of proposal comes up, and he plans it at the very next opportunity with the most convenient ring. 🙄 Boys. Thankfully my proposal ring was always going to be temporary.
Hoping you find something you love! I wouldn’t overestimate the attachment your fiancee has to the ring he proposed with, especially since he didn’t pick it with much intention other than he liked the way it looks.
You’ve been together a long time — this is not the 1950-s — you don’t have to pretend squeal about anything — he got you a ring, didn’t put too terribly much effort into it — probably assumed you would take it from here and get what you want — he did the big thing, proposing — now get out there and find something that will be exciting and make you feel confident when you look it. I’m sure that is what he wants for you.
Please get the ring and design you like. IMO, if you don’t like it the feeling doesn’t wear off. Do not grow to love something just to keep the peace. It’s even a bonus that you’re in the return window.
A lot of people may have a problem with this but I’m on my third set of wedding rings. Styles change, preferences change and I chose to change my rings along with my style.
I married the man, not the ring. I kept the original and second set of rings and then turned the diamonds, along with a family diamond, into a custom anniversary ring.
If this isn’t the ring you love, speak up and let him know. It may save him money in the future when he’s not replacing it later.
I think your ring is beautiful. I think if you’re emotionally attached to it then you need to make some peace with the other things you have doubts about. For me, emotion and meaning is more important than the look, and that should create a deeper love for the ring you have, than any other ring you could choose.
https://preview.redd.it/2mq9vf2qh9yf1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35bda7def02e6dade63d0421bd9033e501239df9
My ring is very similar to yours, and I love it! I paired my white gold engagement ring with a rose gold half eternity band. I personally love your ring! I think the right wedding band can accentuate the things you like about your engagement ring. 😊 good luck ring hunting!
I’m sorry but the amount of obsessing you do over this ring and how to change it/enhance it to suit you and how much you want someone to tell you it’s ok to speak up and go and change it… it tells me it’s time to get brave and speak to your fiancée about returning it and then going ring shopping together. And here it is… IT’S OK AND YOU WILL BE FINE AND YOUR FIANCÉE WILL BE FINE TOO. Go and do what will make you happy. Congratulations on your engagement 🥳
Please be honest with him
About this. Guys just don’t know what the hell they are doing. You appreciate the effort and it looked great in the picture it just doesn’t sit right on your hand. He won’t know what this means and that’s ok. Work together to make sure you are both happy with the end results. Don’t live with something you don’t absolutely love. Set out in the right foot. Good luck.
Congratulations! I was with my husband for years before our engagement as well and I know how special it felt after all those years to get the proposal even though we’d discussed marriage and children.
My husband asked me about jewelry all along recording me and ordered my ring based on what I’d said. When I asked him (the most sentimental man I’ve known) how he felt about my ring and he was shockingly ambivalent. The man who has his grandparents wedding rings in commemorative box in our safe was like meh. Lol
I was curious about it after reading a post like this. I said if I told you it wasn’t my style what would you do? He was enthusiastic about me having a ring I loved and not caring if I had wanted a different style.
I guess what I’m saying is that you can carefully broach the topic to feel out if it would hurt his feelings or if he would be chill about it. I think it’s better to say something now and use the store credit for wedding rings. I agree Kay is not the company I’d want an engagement ring from, but gold bands NBD. Men don’t generally understand that a brand name they hear about in commercials might not be ideal in the jewelry room.
We got engaged years ago now, but my engagement ring style is now very trendy. It wasn’t when we got engaged. So despite your intentions, you may end up with something that becomes trendy. I wouldn’t let that dictate your choice. ✨✨✨
Girl, be honest! He was confident enough to tell you the not-so-enchanting reasons he chose the ring, and you should be confident enough to express your feelings around it. It might hurt his feelings a bit but considering he didn’t put that much time into it, I can’t see why he wouldn’t think logically and agree that you should have what you want! It sounds like he was a bit overwhelmed and maybe you taking the lead will actually put him at ease too. You could learn to love it, but I’m sure neither of you would be totally content with the thought that this investment went to waste if you eventually decide you do want to change it. Your partner sounds lovely and will be understanding. Bite the bullet 🙂
I would speak up. He didn’t say that when he saw the ring it would be perfect for you. He said it was pretty, a great value, and easy to find online. Married 21+ years here and you will have many more difficult conversations to face later in married life. My husband could afford about a 1.5 carat diamond and thought I would prefer a gold band solitare. He took me to 2 jewelry stores as he had visited many and decided he liked the quality and service at these stores 23 years ago about 6 months into our relationship. We were going watch shopping for him and he casually asked what type of rings girls liked at the time as his friend was about to buy an engagement ring for his girlfriend. I ended liking a smaller stone with a real blingy platinum setting still on his budget. He bought it and proposed 3 months later.